Good News . . .

And it has nothing to do with my car insurance. Several Sci Fi type announcements have my interest piqued.

Kyle Rayner: Ion. In the upcoming year, my favorite Green Lantern returns in his own series. Woohoo! Will a retain his affiliation with the GLC? Unknown. To honest, I don't really care. I developed an affinity for the character, one not shared by about half of GL fandom, and can't wait to see Kyle back in his own title.

The Sci Fi Channel picked Battlestar Galactica for two additional seasons. That's excellent news for those of us who think BG is the best television show on the air presently. NBC Universal also asked Moore to develop a couple new science fictionish properties. Let's hope they're not stretching him too thin.

Finally, Sideshow Collectibles plans to release a new Iron Man comiquette (what's the difference between a maquette and comiquette?). Behold!

Holy Guacamole! That's a terrific looking piece. The $250 price tag is a bit rich for this comic fan, but it's nice to dream.

Villainy Most Foul

I found this story the other day, and thought regular readers might like to take a look and comment:

Top Ten Villainous Moments: Our list of the most deliciously evil events in comics.

It's a little sad just how few of these I've actually read: only #9, #6, and #5.

But Wait, There's More...

Ten More Really Awful Ways to Die in Fantasy and Science Fiction

10. Being eaten by a grue.

9. Being impaled during mass...and you're the one conducting the service.

8. Having your magical essence drained away by being hung upside down and skinned alive.

7. Walking onto the bridge of a captured ship just in time to hear the computer say, "Seven ... six ... five ..."

6. Having your head teleported away from your body.

5. Death due to rapid aging brought on by a poor choice in stemware.

4. That Spanish brat you taught a lesson to all those years ago finally catches up with you.

3. Being dragged down to the underworld after the woman you've spent the last three thousand years trying to resurrect abandons you.

2. Being eaten by dung beetles after abandoning the man who's spent the last three thousand years trying to resurrect you.

1. Being sucked into a jet engine because you've ignored Edna's first rule of costume design: NO CAPES!

Even More Ways to Go

Mike came up with a doozy of a list this time, eh? Gotta love that dark sense of humor. As I wouldn't want anyone to think I'm not into dark humor, I have a few "ways to die" I'd like to add to the list.

The Top Ten Worst Ways to Die in Fantasy and Science Fiction

10) Having a witch, mad with the power of Chaos magic, wish you into non-existence.*

9) Being eaten by a Rancor.

8) Activating a radio to God and having your face melted off.

7) Pickled by toxic waste, your entire body splats on the windshield of a fast moving vehicle.

6) You survive several years as the Chief Engineer on a starship, only to have your life snuffed out in the lamest. series. finale. ever.

5) A bug in your brain, a phaser in your hand. Do the math.

4) Finally free of your human captors, your internal battery runs out of power. Time to die.

3) Called into existence as a sperm whale, your first few moments of life include striking the ground at terminal velocity.

2) Standing in the gateway to Hell, your soul finally restored to your body, your girlfriend slides a sword into your belly.

1) Seconds away from destroying the Rebel Alliance forever, it dawns on you that you forgot to close the thermal exhaust port.

*Not only is this a terrible way to die, it's even worse when the execution is lame, lame, lame.

What A Way To Go

I was watching the end of The Wizard of Oz the other night, and I saw the famous "I'm melting!" scene. And it made me think, "What a crappy way to go." But there are worse, I suppose.

The Top Ten Worst Ways to Die in Fantasy and Science Fiction

10. Being turned into a cardboard dodecahedron, then squished.

9. Having an alien embryo burst out of your chest. (It's even worse if the alien then produces a top hat and cane and tap dances away.)

8. Committing suicide on the moon because you realize you can never hope to control the awesome power you have, only to come back and then die again numerous times over the next thirty years.

7. Being beaten to death by Doomsday as a publicity stunt.

6. Having your head put on a pike as a warning to the next ten generations that some favors come with too high a price.

5. Having your soul sucked out through your mouth.

4. Being Force-choked by a Sith Lord while watching him talk to the poor sap who's about to get your job.

3. Being blasted by a Cardassian possessed by a Pagh Wraith.

2. Landing your spaceship safely under impossible conditions, only to be impaled seconds later when a huge spear crashes through your windshield.

1. Finally recovering something precious to you after losing it decades earlier, only to lose your balance at the moment of triumph and fall into a lava pit.

So, did I miss any?

Late but Fantastic

Okay, I'm behind the times, but I just saw Fantastic Four last weekend. I will say just one thing:

Michael Chiklis was the perfect choice to play Ben Grimm.

Can't wait for the sequel(s)!

One Thing Leads to Another

We're all aware of the recent movie "Doom" based on the ground-breaking video game. Yes, it appears to be awful and no, I have no plans to see it. But I found out something interesting about it.

As those who have played the game know, two of the more interesting weapons available are a shotgun and a chainsaw. According to IMDb.com, the decision to include these two weapons was based on "Army of Darkness" and the rest of the "Evil Dead" series.

So what we have, in the end, is a movie based on a video game based on a movie.

New ideas, anyone? Anyone? Bueller? Bueller?

Look Who's Coming to Dinner

If you haven't been keeping track of recent events in the Marvel comics universe, the House of M miniseries (which I haven't been reading--I've had it with the x-men mega events) is about to drastically change the mutant landscape. Rumor has it that the estimated 16 million mutants in the Marvel universe will be culled to somewhere between 200-300. Despite the silliness of the entire affiar, one good thing appears to be coming out of the House of M mess.

That's right, Excalibur is returning as a monthly series and Chris Claremont is heading up the reconceptualization of the team. I'll be calling the comic shop to add this to my hold file.

Kneel, er, Vote Before Zod

Looks like the 2008 Presidential elections just got a lot more interesting:

General Zod 2008

Given our recent discussion of Nicolas Cage and his new child, Kal-El, I found the following picture/caption particularly funny.


The future President and his staff react noticeably as Ed Randall, campaign worker, pronounces the the name of Nicolas Cage's heathen child. (AP/Boston Globe)

Meditations on the New Mutants

In the wake of the previous article, Doug Ramsey: Reloaded, I've been thinking about the New Mutants. I always liked the idea of an 'X-Men junior varsity' team. I wondered what it would be like to have superpowers when I was a teenager.^* True, the stories weren't quite as good as what the X-Men got, and the artwork was absolutely atrocious sometimes. But I still really liked the team. Here are my thoughts on them.

Cannonball
Sam Guthrie was always my favorite member of the team. He was tall and a little clumsy, bright but socially awkward, and hung up on a girl who didn't even know he existed. He also had a strong sense of what was right and wrong and always wanted to do the right thing, even if he wasn't always sure what that was. I found a lot in him that I could relate to. And his graduation costume rocked!

Mirage
Dani's personality made her a fine complement to Sam as a team leader. Her 'I hate all white men' thing was a little clichéd and annoying, but fortunately it didn't peek out too often. The development of her powers was sometimes a little incoherent, though. Being able to show someone their deepest desires or fears is pretty cool—but what does it have to do with communicating with animals? The ability to create objects from thin air was a fairly logical development of her power, which I liked. But the Valkyrie thing made no sense to me. It seemed like the writers never knew what to do with her. They should have spent more time developing her personality, not her powers.

Karma
I thought Shan had a lot of potential, but any time she was on stage, her personality—like her mutant power—was just a little too one-dimensional. Too bad.

Wolfsbane
I also found some things to relate to in Rhane, and she did show some growth as the series progressed. But I think the writers put way too much emphasis on the internal conflicts and angst caused by her religion. Why is the media so quick to portray anyone with strong religious beliefs as either a prude, a fanatic, or just plain unbalanced? We're not all freaks....

Sunspot
One of the few bricks in comics that didn't also have exceptional defenses. Strong and powerful, yet also strangely vulnerable—which is also a pretty good description of his personality. His bravado at times seemed like a cover for deep insecurities he may not have even realized he had. And of course there was his hot temper. Every team needs an irritant, and Roberto made for a good one.

Magik
Every team also needs a bad@ss, and she was it. Illyana was just not to be screwed with, especially if you relied on any kind of mystical forces to keep you in the fight. I think even her brother was afraid of her—and he was seven and a half feet tall and made of steel.

Magma
While Amara's powers and personality were interesting enough, what I really liked about her was her history. The idea of a Roman colony lost deep in the South American jungle for centuries was a nice touch. Too bad the writers decided to retconn it and make it a hidden mutant colony instead. Lousy rewrites!

Warlock
I guess teams also need a 'fish out of water' character from time to time, and I suppose Warlock was as good a fit as any for this team. He did provide for a few interesting story lines, but usually only because of being pursued by his father, the Magus. Other than that, I never really felt that he fit in with the rest of the team. And having him run off with Sunspot and leave Doug (Cypher) behind in the "Fallen Angels" miniseries was just stupid.

Cypher
In retrospect, I can see that Cypher was just a waste of a good character concept. See the previous article for details. He had a lot of potential for growth and development in his own right, but was usually relegated to the roles of DNPC for the rest of the team, or someone for Colossus to get jealous over (because of all the time Kitty spent with him). The one really decent story involving him was the time he combined with Warlock to defeat the Magus—by rewriting Magus' DNA. That was seriously cool, and worthy of any true science geek (even a linguist).

Wow, it's kind of fun to think about characters from so long ago. Maybe I'll take a look at another superteam soon. Alpha Flight, maybe. That team really put the 'dis' in 'dysfunctional'. Suggestions, anyone?

--
^*Heck, sometimes I still do.

Doug Ramsey: Reloaded

I found this article through Fark.com about the Top 10 obscure comic-book characters that should be brought to the big screen. Some of IGN's nominees included Animal Man, the Question, the Flaming Carrot, and the spectacular Spider-Ham. And one of the nominees was someone with whom I was actually familiar: Cypher.

Yes, that Cypher. Doug Ramsey of the New Mutants. And my initial reaction was, "You've got to be kidding. Cypher? That guy's as useless as a chocolate teapot. Even dying didn't make him interesting."

And then I read their proposed story:

"Mutants live in a world that fears and hates them, but truth-be-told, if Doug Ramsey existed in our world, he'd be one rich man. Cypher has the ability to instantly understand and communicate in any language, even binary. Rather than your typical X-Men flick, Cypher would actually be an incredibly successful intelligence agent, who happens to house the deep, dark secret that he's a mutant. A Cypher flick could prove to be the rare superhero thriller."

And I thought, that's one decent story idea.

Which is exactly one more decent story idea than the geniuses at Marvel ever came up with for the character.

Science Fiction and Fantasy as Equipment for Living

Since Mike posted some ideas for my potential class here at Army of Dorkness, I thought I'd add a follow up. After several hours of writing and rewriting, I think I've developed a suitable course description. Check it out.

This course explores the ways in which science fiction and fantasy media (film and television) contributes to an understanding of contemporary human life. Embracing the futuristic, the magical, and the spectacular, mediated forms of science fiction and fantasy invite viewers to enter a public dialogue concerning issues of science, ethics, art, and religion. Throughout the semester, students will examine the ways in which mediated artifacts assist in the constitution and negotiation of human aspirations and apprehensions.

I've also developed a working title.

Rocket ships, Replicants, and Ringwraiths: Science Fiction and Fantasy as Equipment for Living

I'm open to suggestions for the title. The only requirement is that the second half of the title--Science Fiction and Fantasy as Equipment for Living--has to stay the same. I'm using a couple articles that talk about media as "Equipment for Living" as the foundation for the course (mad props to Marsha for reminding me of the piece). With that in mind, I also had a couple other potential titles.

Metahumans, Magicians, and Monsters from the ID
Starships, Simulacrum, and Sorcerers
Hyperspace, Hellmouths, and Hobbits

The more I think about it, the more I like the 3rd postential title. It's vague enough that it captures the spirit of science fiction/fantasy and specific enough that it reveals some of the films/programs that we'll watch.

Science Fiction, Fantasy, and Society

Over at Rhetorical Imprints, Derek talked about teaching a class that explores the way science fiction and fantasy have addressed important social issues. I think this is an excellent choice. In my mind, one of the defining characteristics of "real" science fiction has always been that it provides a lens through which to look at important social issues, especially those dealing with technology. While modern sci-fi and fantasy cinema may not have this goal in mind, they still provide occasional thought-provoking moments.

Derek listed several movies and their relevant issues, then asked for additional suggestions. Here are mine:

X-Men, X2: X-Men United
Marvel Comics' X-titles have always been an allegory for racism (except in the 90s, when the X-titles were about Wolverine's bad temper and superheroines drawn to look like Dolly Parton in zero gravity). These two films carry the issue of race over to the screen quite well. There are other issues of being different from what is accepted in society as well. For example, the "Have you tried not being a mutant?" line from X2 is a clear reference to sexuality.

A Series of Unfortunate Events, Matilda
Both movies feature exceptional children who are abused and/or neglected by their parents or guardians. What obligations do parents have toward their children? To what degree are children responsible for obeying parents who don't love and take care of them? When does the state become responsible for removing children from abusive situations? And what kind of a difference can a single role model (a teacher, for example) make in the life of a child?

Hercules
Most of the recent Disney animated films can be viewed as morality plays in miniature, in my humble opinion. This one serves as a mirror for fame in popular culture. How does our society define heroism? At what point does a person go from being merely famous (or notorious) to being truly heroic?

The Incredibles
I can see at least two issues addressed by this movie. First, what balance exists between the push for equality and the drive for individual excellence? (Dash: "Dad always said our powers were nothing to be ashamed of. Our powers made us special." Helen: "Everyone's special, Dash." Dash: "That's just another way of saying no one is.") Second, what is (or should be) the role of the family in today's society? What is the balance between devotion to family, personal development, and professional success?

Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home
Star Trek tends to get a little preachy sometimes, and this movie is certainly the preachiest. But it raises important issues about humanity and the ecosystem. What obligations does humanity have towards other forms of life on Earth? And how can economic concerns and ecological concerns be balanced?

Bicentennial Man, Artificial Intelligence: AI
The book "I, Robot" raised important questions about the relationship between Man and machine. Most of the reviews I read indicated that these were left out of the film. If "I, Robot" had been more like these two movies, I may have bothered to see it. Okay, enough ranting, on to the questions. As computers become increasingly complex, at what point do they begin taking on organic features? What is the difference between computation and sentience?

The Running Man
I've even got a prospective title for a paper on this one: "Reality Television and the Culture of Voyeurism". If you've watched any reality TV lately, I think you'll agree that we're not all that far away....

Okay, that's what I've got. Comments?

Avengers Assemble!

Okay, I've been MIA for a while. Moving, getting ready for school, parenting, and all that. However, I've been mulling over the Reassembling the Avengers thought for quite some time. I'll stick with the popular seven member line-up. Here goes.

Captain America. Technically, he's not a founding member. That said, can anyone imagine the Avengers without Cap? Captain America is the Avengers.

Iron Man. He's my favorite Marvel superhero; he had to make the list. He provides moderate muscle, air support, ranged attacks, and electronic expertise.

She-Hulk. While her cousing is unpredictable, Jennifer has remained a stable member of the Avengers for years. She provides plenty of muscle, physical and legal, in times of crisis.

Clea, Sorceress Supreme of the Dark Dimension. For a team that faces Earth-threatening crises of every shape and form, the Avengers have always lacked a master of the magical arts. Rather than go with Dr Strange, the all too obvious choice, I've opted for Clea. Her unique position as leader of the Dark Dimension could provide for some interesting plots.

The Black Knight. Dane Whitman has always been woefully underused as an Avenger. Since the Ebony Blade curse has been lifted and the blade lost, Whitman now employs the Shield of Night (capable of absorbing almost any energy) and the Sword of Light (through which the Black Knight returns the absorbed energy). I also have a soft spot for Arthurian legend and Dane's Lady of the Lake connection appeals to me. His scientific abilities are nothing to laugh at, either.

The Vision. From intangible to dense as a diamond, the synthezoid Avenger is the Pinocchio archetype. He longs to be human, but knows he'll always be an outsider. His convoluted background, relationship to Ultron, and tragic life (they guys been torn apart and reassembled how many times and continues to be faithful to the Avengers), make him a must. If nothing else, the guy needs a chance to redeem himself after the Avengers Disassembled storyline. Talk about character assasination.

Quasar. Hey, the Avengers really need a cosmic level Avenger and who better to fill that slot than quantum band wearing Wendell Vaughn.

There were several Avengers to whom I gave serious consideration and ultimately discarded from my list. Thor, Jocasta, Dazzler, Moon Knight, War Machine (James Rhodes replacing the Tony Stark Iron Man on my list), Nova, Professor Hulk (the Hulk with Banner's intellect), and Falcon were among the many considered.

A couple characters that didn't receive one second of consideration.

Wonder Man. Worst. Character. Ever.
Hank Pym. Nothing more than an Ultron magnet. Ultron is a cool villain, but do the Avengers really want him showing up every 12 issues or so? Relegate Pym to the sidelines and save yourself the trouble. Sheesh.
Triathlon. Second. Worst. Character. Ever.
USAgent. Had a cool costume during Force Works, but boy was that guy annoying. Can you say Psycho?
The Scarlet Witch. Bendis has absolutely ruined that character for me. Here's hoping the House of M puts Wanda out of our misery.

Assembling The Avengers

Okay, I'm finally responding to Curtis' challenge below. Let me warn everyone about something, though: I haven't read comics regularly for more than a dozen years. The fact is, I had to dig out my old comics and do some serious research to pull this off at all. So if my team seems a little out-of-date, that's why. Okay, here we go.

Captain America
Cap has always been, and will always be, the heart and soul of the Avengers—all the recent 'Wolverine/changing times/samurai warrior' crap notwithstanding. Without Captain America, there is no 'Avengers'. Period.

Iron Man
If Cap is the heart, then Iron Man is the brains of the Avengers. Not to mention the wallet. But Tony Stark's contributions to the team are far greater than just his seemingly limitless personal fortune. His technical prowess and his ability to deal with even the most monolithic bureaucracies on their own terms make him invaluable to the team.

Hawkeye
Even taking into account Iron Man's superior experience and intellect, Hawkeye is the perfect choice to be Captain America's second in command. He is the classic combination of business and banter, and he almost never misses. He helps keep Cap from getting too serious and maudlin while still getting the job done. And it helps for Cap to know he's not always right.

Binary
True, Carol Danvers was a member of the Avengers for a time. But that was in her previous life (i.e., before she lost her powers and personality to Rogue). As Binary, she has both the temperament and the power level to run with Earth's mightiest heroes.

Stingray
Having a second super-suit on the team may seem redundant, but Stingray would make an extremely valuable team member. First, he's more a pure scientist than Tony, so his perspective would be very helpful. And second, approximately three-quarters of the Earth's surface is covered with water. It would be nice to have someone on the team who's at home under the waves.

Phoenix
(No, not Jean Grey. She's dead. Say it with me: Jean is dead.)
It's no secret that the X-Men produce enough telepaths to export one to every significant superteam on the planet. So why not the Avengers? I think Rachel Summers would make a good addition to this team. She's certainly powerful enough to fit in with this group, and she's got a lifetime's motivation to be heroic.

Valkyrie
Cap, Iron Man, and Hawkeye are long-time avengers, and Carol Danvers and Stingray have associated with the team before. So I thought that bringing in Thor would probably violate the 'new' aspect of this exercise. And I had another thought: if not Thor, then why not another Asgardian? Valkyrie is certainly competent enough as a warrior. Plus, if (when) the writers ever decide to do another stupid "let's kill off one (or more) of the characters" storyline, Val provides a perfectly reasonable way to bring them back later!

Yellowjacket
(No, not Hank Pym. He's already been in the Avengers, what, nineteen different times under five different identities? That's enough.)
After her stint with the Masters of Evil, I seem to recall that Rita DeMara started showing signs of genuine remorse. What better way to serve her penance than in the service of the team she'd wronged? It's not like the Avengers haven't taken in reformed (or even reforming) criminals before.

Okay, that's my suggested roster. Comments?

Black Hats, Vol. 3

Okay, I finally got around to offering my picks for the best of the baddies.

Movies
Best Villain. Flash Gordon's arch-nemesis, Ming the Merciless. The guy watched his own daughter being tortured with bore worms. ick.
Best Villain Group. The Kryptonian criminals from Superman II: Ursa, Non, and General "Kneel Before Me" Zod.
Best Villain Organization. The Galactic Empire. This organization demands subservience by all it's members. Act up a bit and you'll find your planet blown to smithereens.

Television
Best Villain. Lionel Luther from Smallville. What a magnificent bastard.
Best Villain Group. The Legion of Doom. I loved them on the old Superfriends show. The good news is that The Legion of Doom is being resurrected for Justice League Unlimited. w00t.
Best Villain Organization. The new Cylons. Ruthless, relentless, and devious. Their ability to infiltrate the Fleet in the guise of humans adds a new level of tension to the retelling of the Galactic narrative.

Print
Best Villain. I've always been rather fond of Ultron. Virtually indestructable, he keeps going, and going, and going. What version of Ultron are we on now, 10?
Best Villain Group. The Brotherhood of Evil Mutants. Not the original Magneto, Toad, Quicksilver, Scarlet Witch group, but the Mystique, Destiny, Pyro, Avalanche, Blob, Rogue incarnation of the 1980s. While talking a few nights back, Mike and I recalled the way in which the Brotherhood slammed Colussus. Pyro heated his organic osmium skin to white hot temperatures and Avalanche smashed him with a tanker full of liquid nitrogen. Ouch.
Best Villain Organization. Advanced Ideas Mechanics. They created Modok, for crying out loud!

RPG
Best Villain. Mike's Juggernaut clone, Earthmover. I hated that guy.
Best Villain Group. Power Syndicate - Fastback, Hummel, Chuck and Airstrike. Like Mike and Curtis before me, this group proved to be a major pain.
Best Villain Organization. Genocide. The mutant hating organization still makes my blood pressure rise.

Why I Read What I Read

This quote comes comliments of Curtis:

"When I was ten, I read fairy tales in secret and would have been ashamed if I had been found doing so. Now that I am fifty, I read them openly. When I became a man, I put away childish things, including the fear of childishness and the desire to be very grown up."
-C.S. Lewis

Farewell, Miracle Worker.

James Doohan passed away today. Godspeed, Scotty.

Black Hats

Okay, here's another one of these reader-participation posts of which I am so fond. I invite not only my fellow collaborators to participate, but also any guest(s) that may stumble upon it.

Today's topic is villains. That's right, the bad guys. The enemy. The blokes in the black hats. And I'd like to hear who your favorites are.

Here's the recommended format: please provide your nominee for Best Villain (individual), Best Villain Group (small group), and Best Villainous Organization (large group). And to make it interesting, please provide nominees in each of the following four categories: Movies, Television, Print (i.e., books or comics), and Roleplaying (personal experience, if applicable).

As with previous discussions of this ilk, please give details. I look forward to what you have to say. I'm going to break tradition this time, however, and post my answers first.

Movies
Best Villain: Darth Vader
Vader gets the nod for sheer presence. Just having him around creates terror not only in his enemies, but also in his underlings. Two minutes of screen time is all it takes to know that Vader is someone not to be screwed with.
Best Villain Group: The crew of the Black Pearl(Pirates of the Caribbean)
Although they're not the brightest bunch, they're greedy, singleminded, vicious, and in general just plain nasty. And then you find out that they're also undead.
Best Villainous Organization: Nazis
The original Stormtroopers. Whether they're chasing Indiana Jones or trying to keep Allied POWs from making a Great Escape, you can't help but love to see them fail. Indy said it best: "Nazis. I hate these guys."

Television
Best Villain: Alfred Bester (Babylon 5)
He's arrogant, devious, smug, ruthless, and unfortunately, just about untouchable. You just want to smack him on sight. He's no Pavel Chekov, that's for sure.
Best Villain Group: The Hive: Brother Blood, Gizmo, Jinx, Mammoth, et. al. (Teen Titans)
It's not just that they're villains...they're also teenagers.
Best Villainous Organization: The Borg
Although their villainy was diluted quite as bit by Voyager, make no mistake. These folks are not someone you want to meet in a dark nebula. You can't negotiate with them, you can't drive them off, and you can't hold them back. You can only hope to destroy them - before they do the same to you.

Print
Best Villain: Magneto
It's not just that Magneto is obnoxiously powerful, although he certainly is that. What makes him truly dangerous that he's suave and sophisticated, and extremely persuasive. His arguments are almost enough to make you wonder if he really is the bad guy. Almost.
Best Villain Group: Slytherin House (Harry Potter)
Draco Malfoy tries to put himself across as brave and smart, but by the end of the first book you've learned that he's basically just a bully like his two lapdogs, Crabbe and Goyle. And as the series goes on, you come to find out that the rest of the house is no better. Nasty buggers, the lot of them, and racists to boot.
Best Villainous Organization: The Imperial Order (Terry Goodkind's "Sword of Truth" series)
Violent, bloodthirsty, and rapacious, Emperor Jagang's army sweeps across whole kingdoms killing, looting, despoiling, and decimating anything and anyone in their path. But what makes them truly frightening is how much they enjoy it, relish it, savor it. They believe that they're fully justified in doing all of this, that their enemies ultimately deserve this treatment. It might not be so scary if there weren't so much of that sort of thing going on in the real world.

Roleplaying
Best Villain: Iconoclast
Derek threw this 100-foot monstrosity up against us one day, and we beat on him for most of a very long evening before we put him down. It was nasty. But even worse was that every so often, if we complained about a scenario, he'd say, "Or we could fight Iconoclast again...."
Best Villain Group: Fastback, Hummel, and 'Chuk
A SPD- and DEX-draining speedster, an armored brick, and a martial arts master, respectively. This team was Lawrence's master stroke of villainy. We'd cringe every time we saw them.
Best Villainous Organization: Tarot
This is Curtis' signature villain group with ~30 members plus agents and support staff. We hated fighting them because a) there were always a ton of them around and b) you could never tell exactly who would show up - or what they could do. One of my favorite role-playing experiences was when one of my characters underwent plastic and psychic surgery and infiltrated the group.

That's my contribution. Happy posting!

Movie Quotes

The American Film Institute recently released its list of the 100 Greatest Movie Quotes of All Time. I thought the fantasy and science fiction genres were quite underrepresented on the list, so I've put together one of my own. Enjoy.

Yoda: Remember, a Jedi's strength flows from the Force. But beware. Anger, fear, aggression. The dark side are they. Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny. (Return of the Jedi)

Han Solo: Afraid I was gonna leave without giving you a goodbye kiss?
Princess Leia: I'd just as soon kiss a Wookie.
Han Solo: I can arrange that! (The Empire Strikes Back)

Yoda: No. Try not. Do...or do not. There is no try. (The Empire Strikes Back)

Everyone: I have a bad feeling about this.... (Star Wars I-VI)

Indiana: I don't know, I'm making this up as I go. (Raiders of the Lost Ark)

Professor Henry Jones: Well, I'm as human as the next man.
Indiana Jones: Dad, I *was* the next man. (Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade)

Alex Rogan: So...how many Starfighters are left?
Grig: Including you? One. (The Last Starfighter)

Gaff: It's too bad she won't live! But then again, who does? (Blade Runner)

Roy Batty: I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. (Blade Runner)

Ash: All right, you primitive screwheads, listen up! (Army of Darkness)

Jack Burton: Hey, I'm a reasonable guy. But I've just experienced some very unreasonable things. (Big Trouble in Little China)

Jack Burton: Now I'm not saying that I've been everywhere and I've done everything, but I do know it's a pretty amazing planet we live on, and a man would have to be some kind of FOOL to think we're alone in THIS universe. (Big Trouble in Little China)

Dr. Gillian Taylor: Don't tell me, you're from outer space.
Kirk: No, I'm from Iowa. I only work in outer space. (Star Trek IV)

Fred Kwan: That was a hell of a thing. (Galaxy Quest)

Jack Sparrow: Anamaria.
[Anamaria slaps Jack]
Will Turner: I suppose, you didn't deserve that one either?
Jack Sparrow: No, that one I deserved. (Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl)

Edna: No capes! (The Incredibles)

Julius Levinson: All you need is love. John Lennon said that. Smart man, shot in the back. Very sad. (Independence Day)

The Shoveller: We've got a blind date with Destiny - and it looks like she's ordered the lobster. (Mystery Men)

The Sphinx: You must lash out with every limb, like the octopus who plays the drums. (Mystery Men)

The Invisible Man: Well, hello to you, too. And need I remind you, I am naked in the snow. I can't feel any of my extremities. And I mean...any of them. (The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen)

Wolverine: You actually go outside in these things?
Cyclops: Well, what would you prefer? Yellow spandex? (X-Men)

Wolverine: You're so full of $#!%. If you were really so righteous, it'd be you up in that thing, not her. (X-Men)

Professor X: My tolerance for your smoking in the mansion notwithstanding, if you continue to smoke in here, you'll spend the rest of your life believing you are a six year old girl.
Wolverine: You can do that?
Professor X: I'd have Jean braid your hair. (X2)

Bruce Banner: But you know what scares me the most? When I can't fight it anymore, when it takes over, when I totally lose control...I like it. (Hulk)

Dumbledore: It does not do to dwell on dreams, Harry, and forget to live. (Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone)

Dumbledore: And finally, I must tell you that this year, the third-floor corridor on the right-hand side is out of bounds to everyone who does not wish to die a most painful death. (Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone)

Esteban: A little clumsy, are you not, my friend?
Zorro: To be your friend I would have to be more than clumsy. I would have to be stupid. (Zorro, the Gay Blade)

Westley: This is true love - you think this happens every day? (The Princess Bride)

Westley: Death cannot stop true love. All it can do is delay it for a while. (The Princess Bride)

Video Fun

We have an independent video shop (i.e., not Blockbuster or Hollywood Video) down the street from my house. They have a marquee board out front that you can see from the street. On one side they advertise monthly specials and that sort of thing. On the other side, they offer free rentals based on your name: "Free rental if your name is Tony" and that sort of thing.

Well, they've had a couple of good ones recently. About a month ago, they had this one:
"Free rental if your name is Luke or Leah".

Then, a couple of weeks ago it read:
"Free rental if your name is Bruce or Wayne".

I thought this was pretty funny, and I hope they continue the trend. I hope to see one like this soon:
"Free rental if your name is Reed or Richard".

Or maybe:
"Free rental if your name is Ben, Sue, or Johnny".

Local businesses are fantastic!

Comic Update

Like Curtis, I’ve become increasingly dismayed with the quality of what passes as recent comic book fare. Of the comics I read regularly, there are few that evoke much in the way of excitement. Here’s my current reading list and a few thoughts.

Marvel Comics
I’m not sure what’s going on at Marvel, but most of the titles I read are pure drivel.

Avengers. Curtis summed this up nicely. The new Avengers have very little appeal. Bring back the old guard. Leave Wolverine in the X-titles, please.

Iron Man. Since the relaunch almost a year ago, only three issues have been published. The truth of the matter is that nobody really knows when the next issue will be released. A regular monthly title that publishes every two, three or four months has definite problems. Oh, and the storyline is mediocre at best. Don’t even get me started on Orson Scott Card’s Ultimate Iron Man. Absolute crap.

Thunderbolts. A decent title. I like the whole supervillains searching for redemption theme of this book. Taking second string players--e.g. Radioactive Man, The Beetle, SpeedDemon, Blizzard, Atlas--and breathing life into their stale characterizations works for me. It also helps that Kurt Busiek, one of my favorite comic writers, is involved with this title.

The Young Avengers. The YA show some promise. Let’s hope the Marvel powers-that-be don’t screw it up.

DC Comics
While I’m generally more pleased with my DC titles, I’m still not thrilled.

Green Lantern. What can I say about what was once my favorite title? Not a whole lot, I’m afraid. Unlike Curtis, I’m not thrilled with the return of Hal Jordan. In fact, I think Hal’s return is indicative of the unimaginative state of comic book writing. Yet another fallen hero back from the dead? ::sighs:: Been there, done that. I loved reading the Silver Age adventures of Hal Jordan. I also liked his fall from grace during Emerald Twilight. Real heroes are flawed individuals; they make mistakes, sometimes tragic ones. Hal’s return is nothing more than a big cop out, a do over. As a long-time GL fan, I’ll continue to read the comic but find myself ambivalent about the current direction. I’m far more excited about Green Lantern Corps: Recharge, which features Kyle Rayner, Guy Gardner, and Kilowog, then the flagship title.

JLA. The recent Crime Syndicate story arc was very mediocre. The cross universe storylines don’t do much for me.

JSA. I’ve been indifferent toward this title for several months. The only reason I continue to read it is Alan Scott, the original Green Lantern. If you aren’t intimately familiar with the long and storied history of the Justice Society of America, a group that’s been around since the 1940s, you’ll miss much of what’s going on. Sadly, I’m not up-to-date on the 60 year history of this group. Still, there's enough good writing to maintain my interest.

The Outsiders. The current battle with Brainiac/Lex Luthor plot is good, traditional comic fare.

Teen Titans. Always fun. The Dr. Light story arc was terrific. I’ve always liked the whole superkids in training gig (the original New Mutants was one of my favorite comics). Rob Liefeld is doing the art for a couple upcoming issues. As one message board poster stated: it’s only two issues. it’s only two issues. it’s only two issues. it’s only two issues. it’s only two issues. it’s only two issues. it’s only two issues. it’s only two issues.

Dark Horse
All the Star Wars comics remain some of my most anticipated reads of the month. I’m looking forward to the post-Revenge of the Sith stories in Star Wars: Republic.

Destiny—It's What You Make Of It

Opportunity, resources, and mood finally converged this afternoon. After nearly a month of encouragement from practically everyone I know, I finally made my way to the theater and saw Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith. Here is the obligatory blog entry.

Regular readers of this forum and of my personal blog have seen me say some unkind things about The Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones, mostly concerning the writing and the dialogue. The current movie is not entirely free of such issues; this is generally known. My biggest problem with the first two episodes, however, had to do with the storytelling.

I went into these first two movies hoping to see a story about a good man and a great warrior who falls from grace. I didn't get that. In E1, Anakin was just this kid with big dreams, a few unusual talents, and a hangup for a girl that was clearly out of his league, but not much else. In E2, he had become neither a good man nor a great warrior, but a defiant, spoiled teenager who thought he was smarter than everyone else. Based on these experiences, it was no surprise to me that he became Darth Vader. There was no fall, per se, because he had never attained a lofty place from which to fall.

Revenge of the Sith changed that for me. It gave me a reason to care about Anakin. It gave me a reason to sympathize with him and to feel sorry for what he ultimately became. It made his fall a tragedy rather than an inevitability.

It short, it did for me what I had hoped the first two episodes would do.

To me, this movie is about choices. Anakin finds himself in some very difficult situations, most of which are ultimately of his own making. He has several key decisions to make—and in almost every case, he makes the worst possible choice. Of course, he has help. Emperor Palpatine is at his elbow in almost every moment of decision, giving encouragement that leads him carefully down the road to the Dark Side.

The biggest problem Anakin faces is that he keeps falling victim to Wizard's First Rule: People will believe any lie if they want it to be true, or if they're afraid that it might be true. Palpatine knows just which lies to tell, and his timing is impeccable. That's not surprising; he's been subtly moving Anakin in this direction for years. And this brings up another concept, that of the incremental lie. It's hard to get most people to swallow a big lie all at once, but if you start with smaller lies and work your way up, it becomes almost frighteningly easy.

Each of Palpatine's lies leads Anakin into a choice that binds him more closely to his erstwhile master. Still, I could see—and wanted to see—a way out for him. And then came the confrontation between Palpatine and Mace Windu. The choice was unambiguous, as simply drawn as possible. Sith or Jedi. From the moment that Anakin chose to side with Darth Sidious, knowing full well what he was, his destiny was sealed. There was no going back.

Babylon 5 creator J. Michael Straczynski is fond of saying, "The monster never sees a monster in the mirror." In his confused state, Anakin sincerely felt that he was doing what was right, what was best—for the Republic, for Padmé, and for the Chancellor, but ultimately for himself. Only when he's lost everything does he realize the state he's placed himself in. He sees what his choices have led him to, and there's nothing he can do about it. And I felt sorry for him.

This was what I was hoping for from this movie. Let it be known that henceforth, I will complain no more about the shortcomings of the Star Wars franchise. I am content.

Kiddie Books

Over the past weekend, I saw Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events. While I haven't read any of the books, I enjoyed the movie, as did my two young (11 and 5) nieces. The eleven-year-old has already read the first three books in the series—approximately what is covered in the movie. My mother, a newly-retired middle school teacher, has also read some of them, mostly because she's seen some of her students reading them. This made me think about some of the books I'd read when I was young(er), and some of the books I'd like my kids (if any) to read one day.

I should state at the outset that it is entirely possible—probable, even—that my kids will grow up to be geeks. Like their father. Don't get me wrong, I'm not intending to dictate to them everything they'll read, watch, listen to, etc. But I want them to be exposed to some of the finer and/or more esoteric things in life: Poe and Shakespeare and Douglas Adams and Beethoven and Hovhaness and Vangelis and the Beatles and Glenn Miller and Star Wars and Star Trek and Babylon 5 and chemistry sets and model rockets and plush bacteria and role playing games and all other manner of geeky things. If they grow up reading car magazines and listening to the flavor-of-the-week boy bands, it won't be because they don't know anything different.
(Okay, I'll step off my soapbox now.)

Anyway, here are some of the books (series of books, mostly) that I'd like my children to read some day.


The Lord of the Rings by J.R.R. Tolkien
» The Hobbit
» The Fellowship of the Ring
» The Two Towers
» The Return of the King
I agree with the sentiments expressed by Peter Jackson and others. I hope that the recent success of the LOTR movies has helped to remove the stigma from Fantasy literature—moved it out of the 'kiddie pool' and into the realm of a legitimate literary form. But whether or not that actually happens, I will do my best to see that my children read these books. A working knowledge of LOTR is essential for any geek-to-be. Without it, one would not know why a Champions villain would be named Grond, or why prog-rock bands would give themselves names like Illuvatar and Marillion, or why describing Micro$oft with the phrase "One OS to rule them all" is funny.

The Harry Potter series by J.K. Rowling
» Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
» Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
» Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban
» Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire
» Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
» Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
This series is wonderful. The writing is insightful and sometimes poignant. Harry goes through all those struggles we geeks—and teenagers in general—have had to go through ourselves. Alienation, disappointment, anger, loss, regret, achievement, friendship, pride, rivalry, awkwardness, infatuation, and puberty are all examined in the lives of Harry and his classmates, sometimes in painful detail. Despite the fantastic setting, every child (and adult) who reads these books will see elements of his or her own life in the lives of the characters. Maybe that's why they've sold so well.

The Chronicles of Narnia by C.S. Lewis
» The Lion, the Witch and the Wardrobe
» Prince Caspian
» The Voyage of the Dawn Treader
» The Silver Chair
» The Horse and His Boy
» The Magician's Nephew
» The Last Battle
This series works well on two different levels. For younger, less experienced readers, these books tell stories about how the brave and good-hearted overcome the forces of evil, sometimes only with great difficulty. More mature readers will discover much more complexity. There are lessons on sacrifice, endurance, dedication, and faith. Metaphors for the divine abound—which, I suppose, is why Lewis wrote the series in the first place.

His Dark Materials by Philip Pullman
» The Golden Compass
» The Subtle Knife
» The Amber Spyglass
Admittedly, this is for older, more advanced readers. The heroes of the books, Lyra and Will, are presented as 11 years old or so, but most children will probably need to be 3-5 years older than that to understand and appreciate the intricate and ever-evolving story of the series. Lyra and Will are much more complex than most characters in children's or adolescent fantasy. They have their flaws, but they are heroic and determined in the face of monumental trials and opposition. There are lessons for young and old alike about loyalty, dedication, optimism, and trust.

The Mancer Series by Don Callander
» Pyromancer
» Aquamancer
» Geomancer
» Aeromancer
This series is just fun to read. The writing and characterizations are not as complex or as well developed as most of the other books on this list, but they don't need to be. Douglas Brightglade, the most central character, originally applies for the position of magician's apprentice only as alternative to becoming a cook. He proves to have the necessary talents for magic, including a large Bump of Curiosity. With his master and their friends, they protect World from dangers great and small. He learns, among other things, that those with extraordinary talents have an obligation to get involved with their communities—not to lead or to rule, but to render the kind of assistance that only they can. That's a lesson I want my kids to learn.

Two books from Robin McKinley
» Beauty : A Retelling of the Story of Beauty and the Beast
» The Blue Sword
If I have any daughters, I will make certain they read these two books. Both feature strong female characters. Both tell coming-of-age stories, and both leading characters demonstrate remarkable wisdom, endurance, and compassion. And, lest we forget that this is fantasy, both women end up with a prince—but neither by virtue of having been rescued by him.

The Tennis Shoes Adventure Series by Chris Heimerdinger
» Tennis Shoes Among the Nephites
» Gadiantons and the Silver Sword
» The Feathered Serpent (Parts One and Two)
» The Sacred Quest
» The Lost Scrolls
» The Golden Crown
» Warriors of Cumorah
» The Tower of Thunder
This is a great translational fantasy series for Latter-day Saints (and others too, I suppose). It follows the story of a family over several decades and their adventures in the scriptural past. The storytelling is good, and the research behind the stories appears sound. The tone of the narrative is sincere—sometimes lighthearted and happy, sometimes grave yet hopeful, sometimes sarcastic. It's both entertaining and spiritual, and an easy read.

I'm sure there are others that I've forgotten. These should make for a good start, though. Now all I need are a few kids!

Starcraft Rules!

My name is Derek and I'm a computer gamer. Yes, I'll admit I typically spend around 10 hours a week, usually late at night, running around a virtual world eliminating the enemy. What probably makes me different than most computer gamers, however, is the limited number of games I actually play. I rarely play, for example, single player adventures. I load the game and go directly to online multiplayer mode. I also don't play any old game that comes around. I've never played Doom, Half-Life, Diablo, or Quake. When it comes to the Star Wars universe, I've played just about everything: Jedi Outcast, Jedi Academy, and Battlefronts stand out as my favorites (multiplayer, of course).

Despite my obession with virtual Star Wars reality, there's one game on which I've logged more hours than all other games combined: Starcraft. Years ago--we're talking the summer of 1998, I think--I was at the top of my game. My gaming partner and I, he always played Terran and I always played Protoss, competed in tournaments and managed to do quite well. Over time, the game lost some of its luster and eventually found its way to my Computer Software box.

This week, I dusted off Starcraft/Starcraft: Broodwars and gave it another play. You know something, this game is still damn fun to play! While I've been retuning my skills against the computer (I'm dreadfully slow), I know it's only a matter of time before I venture back to the Battlenet realm. There's nothing quite as satisfying as watching legions of fully upgraded zealots and dragoons march across Big Game Hunter, annihilating opposing Terran, Zerg, and Protoss forces. I've never been one to worry about the more technologically advanced units in the upper branches of the tech tree. Keep it simple, maintain an advantage in numbers, and overwhelm the enemy. A lightning reaver strike on the enemy's supply lines can prove devastating: no crystals or gas equals no new units. A strike behind enemy lines also proves effective for drawing forces away from perimeter defenses.

Tactics aside, the games still plays suprisingly well. Even after all these years, the biologically oriented Zerg still creep me out a little. Yuck.

Where Does He Get Those Wonderful Toys?

Good choices, all. Now here are mine.

Best Ship (large)
Winner: Enterprise NCC-1707-D (ST:TNG)
This baby's got it all: speed, power, excellent recreational facilities, and the best tech in the fleet. Whether you're stopping a Borg invasion or boldly going where no one has gone before, this is the way to go.
Runner Up: Heart of Gold (Hitchhiker's Guide)
If you can do the math, this ship can do anything, including making a really great cup of tea (eventually).

Best Ship (small)
Winner: Millennium Falcon (Star Wars)
She may not look like much, but she's got it where it counts. And it's the only ship to play a significant role in the destruction of both Death Stars.
Runner Up: Serenity (Firefly)
Just the thing for the adventurous entrepreneur: fast, maneuverable, inexpensive to operate, and easy to maintain. A ship like this will be with you 'til the day you die.

Best Weapon (ranged)
Winner: Wookie Bowcaster (Star Wars)
Okay, it hasn't got the fastest rate of fire, but it's accurate and cool-looking!
Runner Up: Battle Staff (Stargate)
Devastatingly effective and easy to operate—just point and shoot.

Best Weapon (hand-to-hand)
Winner: Minbari Fighting Pike (Babylon 5)
Simple, effective, and easily concealed, it's absolutely dazzling in the hands of someone who really knows how to use it.
Runner Up: Lightsaber (Star Wars)
Just this sight of this thing is awe-inspiring. An elegant weapon, from a more civilized time.

Best Tool
Winner: Sonic Screwdriver (Doctor Who)
It comes in handy for bypassing locked doors and other such nuisances. Security override? We don't need no stinking security override.
Runner Up: Tricorder (Star Trek)
We have instruments of the $500,000+ variety in my department that do only the merest fraction of what a tricorder can do. I would have loved to have one for my Analytical Chemistry labs.

Best Exotic Device
Winner: Tardis (Doctor Who)
It's hard for me to imagine something more useful than a functional time machine. Plus, if you're a pack rat, there's an infinite amount of storage space inside.
Runner Up: Alien Healing Device (Babylon 5)
This would be a boon to every hospital around, were it not for the rather unfortunate side effects....

My Tech Toys

Best Ship (Large)
Akira Class starship. Sleek, aesthetically pleasing, and armed to the teeth. Visually, Star Trek's phasers and photon torpedoes have always had a certain appeal for me.

HM: Imperial Star Destoyer.

Best Ship (Small)
Serenity from Firefly. The small cargo ship has the most character of almost any ship in science fiction. You've got to love a ship's mess that includes a huge wooden table around which crew and passengers enjoy communal meals.

HM: X-wing.
HM: Colonial Viper.

Best Weapon (Ranged)
A Green Lantern power ring. Technically speaking, the GL ring is a technological device directed by the will of the weilder and powered by the Oan Central Battery. Versatile and stylish. Need a laser? Got it. Need a net? Ditto. Want to overwhelm your enemy with a flock of birds? No problem. It's all about the ring.

HM: Phaser rifle from Star Trek.

Best Weapon (Hand-to-hand).
Like my esteemed colleague, I have to go with the elegant weapon of the Jedi Knights: the lightsaber.

HM: Batleth. It slices and dices the old-fashioned way!

Best Tool
Iron Man armor. Sensors, transportation, defensive shielding, and offensive weapons? It's the Swiss Army Knife of science fiction.

HM: Dr. Who's sonic screwdriver.

Best Exotic Device.
The Orgasmatron from Woody Allen's, The Sleeper. Wait, that's an erotic device . . .

Robby the Robot from Forbidden Planet. Incredible strength (check out the image of Robby lifting a lead monolith), immense intelligence, and the ability to manufacture any substance known to humanity. Don't leave home without him!

HM: A Stargate.
HM: Any of the Yuuzhan Vong biotechnology from the Star Wars Expanded Universe series.

Tech Toys

Okay, it's about time for another gathering of opinions regarding sci-fi. Today's topic: the wonderful machines the future has to offer.

Your mission is to nominate a winner and an honorable mention from the field of science fiction in each of the following categories:

» Best Ship (large)
» Best Ship (small)
» Best Weapon (ranged)
» Best Weapon (hand-to-hand)
» Best Tool
» Best Exotic Device

As usual, try to include as many different series /franchises as possible, and be descriptive. Also as usual, I will post mine last. Have fun!

Worst. Costumes. Ever.

What do the Black Condor, Adam Warlock, Shatterstar, The Mod Gorilla Boss, Dr. Bong, and the entire cast of X-Force have in common?

According to SomethingAwful.com, they share the distinction of having the worst costumes in comics.

This link leads to several pages featuring these and other comic fashion faux pas, along with running commentary. Fun stuff!

Revenge of the Sith

I arrived at the theater 3.5 hours before the premiere and staked my claim as 10th in line. Impressive. Most Impressive. I'm no stranger to Star Wars lines. Beginning with The Empire Strikes Back, I've lined up in advance of every Star Wars opening, even the release of all three Special Editions. If I hadn't been teaching this summer, I probably would have camped out for what is most likely the final Star Wars premiere. It was possibly the longest 3.5 hours of my life.

While the film isn't the Lucas grand slam for which I was hoping, it's a significant improvement over The Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones (for the record, I enjoyed both). I enjoyed myself thoroughly and walked away content. Not thrilled, not overjoyed, not awestruck by the perfectness of the spectacle, but pleased. Revenge of the Sith is a fitting end to the Star Wars experience.

Many of the classic prequel flaws remain, although not to the same degree. The love story between Anakin and Padme still feels forced and their dialogue is, at times, downright juvenile. There is a particularly touching moment when Anakin and Padme, separated by their duties and significant physical distance, stare in each other's direction. Without a single word, the viewer understands how deeply these two care for one another. The next time they exchange dialogue, the spell is broken. Portman's overall acting in this film is still the worst of the lot. I love her other work but she's just terrible in the prequel films. Christiansen displays the ability to play a brooding and angry man and little else. He's best when his brow is furrowed. There are also a couple scenes which seem out of place. Yoda's adventure on Kashyyk with the Wookies isn't necessary for the development of the plot. Lucas also continues to pack every freaking frame of the film with CGI; there's so much going on that it's difficult to pay attention to the characters.

Despite the flaws, I still think Revenge of the Sith makes a fine addition to the Star Wars mythos. Ewan McGregor and Ian McDiarmid continue as the best actors of the lot. McGregor's Obi-wan is terrific; he's self-assured, committed to the higher ideals of the Jedi order, and still enjoys a good joke. Of all the prequel characters, Obi-wan displays the most depth. McDiarmid's Palpatine/Darth Sidious is conniving, manipulative, and megalomaniacal. What a great combination! While many reviews have criticized Anakin's final descent to the dark side as being too forced or quick, I thought it quite appropriate. Darth Sidious plays on all the right fears and Anakin, with good intention, makes a horrible decision. Other highlights of the film include the surprising way in which the Jedi Purge is carried out. We actually get to see quick scenes of various Jedi being eliminated. Anakin's confrontation with the Padawan learners is chilling, as is a teen Jedi's last stand on the steps of the Jedi Temple.

My favorite element of the film, however, is the slow realization by Yoda and Obi-wan that they've failed both the Jedi Order and the broader galaxy. Blinded by his commitment to the traditions and doctrine of the Jedi, Yoda allowed the Order to lose sight of its humanness. Rather than allowing the Order to evolve and grow, and thus preparing for the impending Sith threat, Yoda devoted himself to the old ways. In the closing minutes of the film, Yoda understands that the cause is lost and that he and Obi-wan must go into exile. Similarly, Obi-wan realizes that his attachment to Anakin, hampered his ability to see potential dangers.* In becoming too attached to Anakin, Obi-wan refuses to see his former padawan's slow descent to the Dark Side. Obi-wan's struggle to come to terms with his own failings, as well as the actions of Anakin, are no more apparent than the much awaited Obi-wan Kenobi/Darth Vader duel. Resolved to do the right thing, Obi-wan lets go of his attachment to his former padawan; his emotional pain is apparent throughout the duel. He struggles up to the last possible second, trying to get Anakin/Darth Vader to let go of his anger and hate. When it becomes apparent that Anakin is too immersed in fear, anger, and hatred, Obi-wan lets go of the friendship and leaves Anakin to die.

If you're a Star Wars fan, get out there and see this film. While I'd put this film as the 2nd or 3rd best of the Star Wars saga (The Empire Strikes Back is firmly entrenched at #1; A New Hope or Revenge of the Sith follows at 2), I'd like to hear what others have to say on the matter. I'll be hitting the theater for a second viewing in the next day or so.

May the Force be with you!

*When all is said and done, resisting attachment is the grand theme to this film; through attachment--attachment to material possessions, outdated ideas, and relationships--we create our own suffering

Follow the Bouncing Brick

This post comes to you courtesy of the Ogden Gaming Consortium.

Last Thursday brought one of those rare gaming moments that's so unusual that it just begs to be documented. The scene: A prison break is taking place at the paranormal correctional facility located on (or under, more specifically) an island off the coast of Freedom City. The New Champions, a group of young superheroes and the city's newest sensation, arrive just in time to see villains start to emerge from one of the bunkers. Jeopardy, the team brick, has jumped from the team jet and disabled (read: obliterated) the villains' getaway vehicle. Now it's time to smack down anyone lacking the good sense to go back to their cells. In other words, all the villains.

While the bunker from which the villains are emerging is fairly small, it provides three ways out. There are two doors, one each along the east and south walls. The west wall features an elevator shaft that the villains have also blown open and from which any that can fly are trying to escape. My character, Morningstar (think Hawkgirl from the Justice League cartoon, at least tactically) is covering the elevator shaft, being the only flyer on the team. Deadboy (an energy-draining Goth hero) and Blindside (a darkness-wielding mutant) are covering the east door, Jeopardy is at the top of the stairs on the south side, and Terminal Velocity ('TV', a speedster) is zipping around hitting whatever target presents itself. Defender II is presumed to be somewhere close by, but is not having much of an impact on the actual situation. As usual.

Morningstar has been trading blows with a villain named Flamestrike. I've tagged her pretty good a couple of times but haven't managed to put her down yet. About this time, another villain pops up out of the shaft: Lady Freeze. And my mind starts to work: one ice character, one flaming character, both up off the ground and within easy reach. So I fly around Lady Freeze and try to knock her back into Flamestrike. It works. End result: I take a little frost damage, Flamestrike takes some damage and is knocked back several hexes, and Lady Freeze is out cold (so to speak). And TV, in that English accent he uses, shouts out, "'Ey, everyone, Morningstar's playing billiards!"

Now, I told you that story so that I could tell you this one.

While this has been going on, Jeopardy, TV, and the others at various times have been dealing with a villain named Bulldozer—no, not the obnoxious, pro wrestler-cum-supervillain from Champions v.1-4, but a reasonably powerful and dangerous brick. Dealing with him is bad enough, but the other villains haven’t the good manners to wait for us to put him down before coming out themselves (in alphabetical order, no less). We had determined by this point that we needed to find some way to start blocking the exits. So after my little pool shot, someone suggests, "Knock Bulldozer down the stairs!" Jeopardy obliges, and Bulldozer disappears down the stairwell. On the next phase, Bulldozer comes flying back up out of the stairwell (not under his own power, mind you). And it still isn't enough to put him down. So, on his next action, he returns the favor and knocks Jeopardy down the stairs, with similar results.

By this time, Jeopardy is tired of this guy. (Jeopardy is not the most patient hero in the business to start with.) So she adjusts her tactics, picks up Bulldozer, and throws him down the stairs. He hits some nameless schmuck at the bottom, and Jepoardy's player rolls an exceptional damage roll. Result: Bulldozer and schmuck #1 are both down for the count. But wait, there's more. Consider that at the bottom of the stairs we have a narrow hallway packed with supervillains hoping to get a whiff of fresh oxygen. In other words, there's nowhere for them to go to get out of the way.

Jeopardy had rolled well enough on her knockback roll to send schmuck #1 flying backwards into another unsuspecting villain. So she rolls again, scoring another exceptional damage roll, resulting in enough damage to schmuck #2 to knock him flying backwards into yet another unsuspecting felon. The knockback from that roll (which probably violated Conservation of Momentum, but we weren't complaining) results in a knockout of schmuck #2 and a general mess that anyone who still wants to get out that way has to spend considerable time and effort trying to climb over/through. Three knockouts for Jeopardy on a single attack, plus a custom made traffic jam. The game had changed from billiards to dominoes.

This was made all the more remarkable by that fact that Jepoardy’s player does not traditionally enjoy great dice rolls, especially where damage is concerned. Curtis reminded me that they had tracked this once, and found that her rolls were below average often enough to be statistically interesting. Worse, she has this tendency to roll low at the worst possible times. It’s as if the player (rather than the character) has a die or two of Unluck. She makes up for this by being creative in the way she fights and by having more dice of damage than anyone else. Unfortunately, this is usually only moderately helpful. But on this day, she managed to roll high, and the results were impressive—scary, even.

The moral of the story: Good tactics are useful, but good die rolls are indispensable.

The Joy of Treks

With my time off between semesters this week, I've been able to catch a few Star Trek reruns. As you may be aware, Spike TV (the Worst. Name. Ever. for a network, IMHO) runs a four hour block of Trek each weekday starting at 11:00 a.m. Eastern time.

With the recent cancellation of Enterprise, there is a certain symmetry among the five Trek series: seven years of The Next Generation, seven years of Deep Space 9, and seven years of Voyager. The four seasons of Enterprise, combined with the three seasons of the original Star Trek, make for seven years as well.

In other words, we have approximately the same amount of material from each of four different Trek flavors: early Trek, TNG, DS9, and Voyager. So, if I were running the network in question, here's what I would do (immediately after changing its name, which would be my first official act):

11:00 Star Trek (the original series) / Enterprise
12:00 Star Trek: The Next Generation
 1:00 Star Trek: Deep Space 9
 2:00 Star Trek: Voyager

And in the 3:00 hour, maybe I'd see about bringing in episodes of other cancelled or syndicated sci-fi series. Stargate SG-1 would be cool, or Firefly, or Farscape. And of course Babylon 5 would find its way into regular rotation.

Thoughts?

Since I Found Serenity

Take my love. Take my land.
Take me where I cannot stand.
I don't care, I'm still free.
You can't take the sky from me.

Take me out to the black.
Tell 'em I ain't comin' back.
Burn the land And boil the sea.
You can't take the sky from me.

Have no place I can be since I found Serenity.
But you can't take the sky from me.

Almost three years ago, Joss Whedon’s short-lived television series caught my attention and refused to let go. Despite my great love of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and everything Whedonesque, his Firefly series stands as Whedon’s best work to date. Set approximately 500 years in the future, the science fiction western depicted the adventures of Captain Mal and his struggle to forge a family out of the motley crew that stumbled into his sphere of influence. From strike-it-rich-quick schemes, to hauling cattle across interplanetary expanses, to protecting a brothel full of whores, to eating dinner at the large wooden table in the ship’s galley, the crew of Serenity--a Firefly class ship--struggled to earn a living and do the next right thing. Although a mere thirteen episodes were ever made, the unique setting and dynamic characterizations earned Firefly my coveted "Favorite Television Series Ever" award.

And that brings me to the reason for my current post. Several days ago, I managed to procure two tickets to a sneak preview screening of the nearly complete Firefly movie. Now titled Serenity, Joss Whedon somehow managed to convince studio executives to revive a cancelled television series on the big screen.* Now in post-production, the movie premieres on September 30.

For fans of the television series, and general science fiction fans, this movie does not disappoint. The Firefly 'verse is still a very harsh and inhospitable place in which to try and carve out a living. The general premise of the film, as evidenced by the recent trailer, puts the crew of Serenity on the lam. Picking up on one of the unresolved plots from the television series, The Alliance (the militaristic government) continues its attempts to capture River and Simon Tam, two fugitives who now call Serenity home. Without offering any major spoilers, let me say that Serenity offers all the classic elements of the television series: bungled heists, barroom brawls, a smattering of gunplay, Chinese cursing, trademark Whedon humor, and a postmodern visual aesthetic. The highlight of the film, however, is the continued superb characterization.

Captain Malcolm Reynolds remains a might conflicted when his altruistic Browncoat ideals, love of crew, and personal survival instincts clash. The light-hearted, mischievous Mal, one of my favorite elements of the series, is missing through most of the film. Instead, the film gives us an intense portrait of Dark Mal, the captain who is willing to sacrifice just about anyone for the safety of his crew. While Zoe remains the ever-committed right hand and sometimes conscience of Mal, her husband, Wash, continues as the ship's comedian and pilot. Kaylee's innocence and love of engines still stand in stark contrast to her not-so-innocent carnal desires. Jayne, the resident thug and cantankerous varmint, persists in his desire to be both part of a crew and satiate his self-serving interests. River, a character who gets a great deal of screen time in the film, is as quirky and dangerous as ever; Simon remains the most loving of brothers and the best ship's doctor in the universe. Inara, relegated to what I thought was secondary status throughout the film, serves as irresistible bait and source of befuddlement for Mal. And Shepard Book, now serving as a clergyman for an out-of-the-way colony, still preaches the best sermon in the known galaxy. It's a damn shame that Inara and Shepard didn’t get more screen. With nine characters, I suppose something had to go.

With excellent characterization, a decent plot, and a thoroughly enjoyable visual presentation, I recommend the move enthusiastically to both fans of the series and fans of science fiction. As much as STK and I enjoyed the movie (two enthusiastic thumbs up), I have my doubts as to whether this film will be a commercial hit. When I walked into the theater, I already had an intimate understanding of the characters and their motivations. Obviously, a two hour movie can't come anywhere close to the character development accomplished in 13 episodes. I'm afraid the general population, the population needed to assure the continuation of the Firefly franchise, won't be as intrigued by the characters. Simply put, they don't have the same emotional investment as fans. Oh, I'm sure the general movie-goer will enjoy the chase scenes, fisticuffs, gunslinging, and beautiful renderings of epic space battle, all of which are quite entertaining, but will they care about the characters?

*The revival of the franchise is due, in no small part, the incredible DVD sales of the cancelled series.

Darth Blog

With Episode III: Revenge of the Sith less then two weeks away, Star Wars is springing up all over. One of the best SW themed things I've encountered the last few days is the following.

The Darth Side: Memoirs of a Monster.
Journal of Darth Vader, Lord of the Sith and Servant to His Supreme Excellency the Emperor Palpatine.

Mostly Harmless

On Saturday, as a sort of end-of-the-semester treat, I took myself to see The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Here is my review.

Overall, I quite enjoyed the movie. It was fun, generally fast-moving, and quirky. The opening sequence featuring dancing dolphins in a Broadway revue-style musical number ("So Long and Thanks for All the Fish!") was a particularly nice touch. So was the Orbitz / Napster-style animation used for the sequences involving Guide entries. And the effects surrounding the use of the Improbability Drive were very offbeat and clever.

I also liked the way the characters came across. Arthur is not quite such a bumbling idiot as he is in the books. Zaphod comes across as a combination hippie, political shyster, and used-car salesman. In other words, pretty much like the book — but more so. (I found the way they handled his extra head and arm rather interesting, too.) Ford's role is downplayed a little, but Trillian is actually better developed in this movie than in the book. And to top it off, casting Alan Rickman as the voice of Marvin was just perfect.

Now, the main complaint I usually have about the cinematic version of a book that I enjoy has to do with the inability of the film to stay true to the book. This happened with this film...but I found that I didn't mind it that much. There were a couple of elements that were original to the movie, as well as expansions of things mentioned only in passing in the book(s). The interplay and relationships between the various main characters (A, F, T, Z, and M) varied from verbatim from the book to completely different in both tone and content. (I can't really say more without spoiling, but when you see it, you'll know what I mean.) In general, where there were changes, I either enjoyed them or at least found them within the spirit of the original work.

If you've read the book(s), you should enjoy this movie. And as it turns out, that leads to my main complaint about the movie. It assumes, in some measure, that anyone seeing it already has a reasonable knowledge of the book. If you haven't read the book(s) recently, you may miss some of what makes it funny, or at least interesting.

Mainly what I noticed was the movie's lack of explanatory detail. For example, we see (I don't consider this a spoiler) Ford and Zaphod 'enjoying' a Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster, with the Guide explaining in the background that drinking one is equivalent to having your brains bashed in with a slice of lemon wrapped around a large gold brick. But there's a good bit more about the PGGB that could have been included — like the fact that the Guide tells you how to make one, and that consequently, "the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy sells rather better than the Encyclopedia Galactica".

We also see some bits involving the Vogons (including the obligatory poetry reading), Magrathea, and Deep Thought that were only amusing to me because I remembered what the book had said about them. I think anyone who goes into this movie without having read the book may not find it very entertaining.

So, in short, the movie is almost, but not entirely, unlike the book. But it's still a lot of fun. I give it a B.

All Good Things...

As promised, here's my Trek cast list.

Captain: Picard is the most cerebral, Sisko is the most passionate, Janeway is the most determined, and Archer is...well, I haven't really figured out what Archer is yet. But for pure adventure and fun, I'll go with the original: James T. Kirk. What can I say, I love heroes drawn in bright primary colors.

First Officer: With a nod to Curtis, I have to go with Babylon 5's Susan Ivanova as well. In addition to her strength, her sense of humor, and her spirituality, she has perhaps the most important attribute of any First Officer: the ability to get things done. That's a talent that would come in quite handy while Kirk is off punching out bad guys and/or chasing skirts.

Doctor: I think I'll take Phlox, for two reasons. First, I think his bedside manner is better than that of any of the other doctors, and second, I enjoy seeing his unusual habits and perspectives.

Chief Engineer: Agreed, Geordi, Miles, B'Elanna, and Trip are all outstanding engineers. But if my ship is surrounded by Romulans, the warp drive is shot, and we have two minutes to live, I have to go with Scotty.

Head of Security: Odo is extremely competent and thorough, and Worf is just not to be screwed with. I even considered using my Crossover to bring in Obi-wan Kenobi from SWE2:AotC. But in matters of security and investigation, it's always nice to know you have a security chief who is relentless, impartial, and obsessed with finding the truth in the way that only a Vulcan can be. So with Derek, I give the nod to Tuvok.

Wild Card: My Wild Card is something of a cross between Curtis' and Derek's choices. He's the Swiss Army Knife of Starfleet, whose outside perspective on humanity helps keep us all a little more human. Gentlemen, I present Commander Data.

I know, this leaves a crew with nobody from Deep Space 9. While this is lamentable, I hasten to point out that DS9 probably had the most coherent, most integrated crew by the end of its run. It's hard to break up a good ensemble.

So, that's my list. Thanks for playing, everyone. (Speaking of which, Tiffany, have you a contribution to make? We'll post it if you do....)

Making it So

Captain's log 0423.05: Finding myself swept into a temporal maelstrom that threatens the very existence of the Federation, I've opted for the rather risky course of assembling Starfleet's best and brightest from the days of yesteryear. With any luck, this group will counteract the diabolical scheme of M.

Captain--Hikaru Sulu. Performing his duties as a Captain for over 57 years, Sulu is one of the most experienced leaders available. Given his superb abilities as a fencer, it's no surprise Captain Sulu knows exactly when to retreat, parry, riposte, or attack.

First Officer--Lieutenant Commander Jadzia Dax. The eighth joining of Dax with a humanoid symbiot, Jadzia Dax offers eight lifetimes of knowledge and ability. Jadzia's scientic knowledge of exobiology, zoology, astrophysics and exo-archaeology, coupled with life-experience of the Dax symbiot, adds a wealth of knowledge to the crew. Jadzia Dax's command ability came into its own under the close tutelage of Benjamin Sisko.

Chief Engineer--Commander Geordi La Forge. Geordi's the best at what does. He keeps warp engines running at maximum efficiency, solves technological puzzles with ease, talks technobabble more fluently than anyone else in Starfleet, and gives Cyclops a run for his money in the "Coolest Shades" category. Given Geordi's non-existent love life, he's the least likely of all crew members to be distracted by romantic pleasures. The ship is his only love.

Doctor--Admiral Leonard McCoy. His passion for his patients is legendary. As proven by the longevity of his practice, Dr. Leonard McCoy stays on top of cutting-edge medical procedure. If pure emotion were capable of curing all ills, Leonard McCoy would never lose a patient.

Chief of Security--Tuvok. His ship and crew lost in the Delta Quadrant, Tuvok's cool-headed approach to tactical/security proved invaluable. Providing excellent defense against such varied enemies as the Kazon and the Borg, Tuvok proved capable of adapting security measures on the fly. Tuvok also has extensive training and experience as a covert operative. It also never hurts to have a telepath on board.

Wild Card. R2D2. This little guy is the swiss army knife of Science Fiction. He can make repairs, fly a ship, and crack any computer database. Never leave home without him!

Engage!

Okay, fellow geeks, I'd like to introduce a new thread, sci-fi style. Your continuing mission: to assemble your dream Starfleet crew. You will choose a Captain, First Officer, Doctor, Chief Engineer, Head of Security, and one other 'Wild Card' crew member. Here are the rules.

1. You may choose from any 'regular' crew members from the five Star Trek series: TOS, TNG, DS9, Voyager, and Enterprise. By 'regular', I mean someone who appeared for more than five or six episodes in a significant role. For example, Reg Barkley would be considered a regular, but Edward Jellico would not.

2. You may have two crew members from any one of the five series. After that, the limit is one crew member from any other series. (So if you take two from TNG, for example, you may have only one each from the other four shows.)

3. Please limit your selections to 'crew members' only. 'Crew members' refers to anyone who plays an important role in the day-to-day operations of the ship or station. For example, Guinan and Garek could both be considered 'crew members', but Lwaxana Troi would not.

4. No villains, please. And for the love of all that is good and holy, no Q.

5. You may also have one crossover: a crew member taken from somewhere other than Star Trek. It could be from a movie, a sci-fi novel, another TV series, whatever.

6. Naturally, when you list your selections, you should explain why you chose each character over the other available candidates. Be detailed. Be specific. Be verbose.

I already pretty much have my crew together. However, since I'm starting this thread, I am going to invoke the privilege of posting mine last. I want to see what you two come up with first. It should be interesting.

You have your orders. Make it so.

Bridge Jumping

Okay, since Curtis and Derek have both shared their favorite comic book moments, let me do the same. I'll warn you, though, most of these are quite old. I've not read comics regularly for some time.

So, in no particular order:

» The X-Men's battle against the Shi'ar Imperial Guard with Phoenix's life on the line, especially the Colossus vs. Gladiator battle.

» "'Do it?' Dan, I'm not a republic serial villain. Do you seriously think I'd explain my master stroke if there remained the slightest chance of you affecting its outcome? I did it thirty-five minutes ago." -Ozymandias, "Watchmen"

» From the Secret Wars: "I'm glad they never heard of rasslin' on planet Remulac. If this guy knew the counter for this hold, I'd be in the soup." -Ben Grimm

» Also from the Secret Wars: Spider-Man is in the process of trashing an extremely strong but inexperienced supervillainess using his typical hit-and-run tactics. At one point she screams, "No fair!" To which Spidey replies, "And if we were fighting in a broom closet, that'd be fair?"

» An acquaintance asks Ollie (Green Arrow), "Have you ever killed a man - not in combat, not self-defense, but because the son of a _____ just needed it?" Kind of sums up the whole Iron Age in one panel.

» Kitty Pryde talking down Reverend Stryker on the subject of humanity - on national television (from "God Loves, Man Kills").

» The occasional freaky weather things that happened when Storm didn't have her powers (My opinion: she still had them, but with that pesky "No Conscious Control (-2)" limitation).

» Nightcrawler taking out several of Dr. Doom's guards by teleporting as fast as he can punch. (Sort of a Multiple Move-by based on Teleportation. Too bad FREd specifically forbids that maneuver.)

» The Samaritan and Winged Victory on a date in their Secret IDs.

» The New Mutants issue where they get fed up with their rivals' biggest jerk, Empath, so they kidnap him and give him a taste of his own medicine.

» From the Outsiders: Halo has just met the new team member, Looker, a 'well-endowed' telepath. Halo thinks, "Looker? No false modesty here." Looker 'overhears' the thought and responds with, "I don't believe in false modesty. I don't have to."

» Hawkeye, in a desperate attempt to save the universe from destruction at the hands of the Grandmaster, challenges him to a simple game of chance. And cheats.

» Cyclops turns off the danger room by bouncing an optic blast off several different surfaces and ultimately hitting the control switch. Wolverine remarks, "Remind me never to face you over a pool table."

» The battle between the X-Men & the Hellfire and Nimrod in Central Park. Especially impressive was the way Kitty hid inside Colossus, then emerged to short out Nimrod's systems momentarily - during which time Colossus beat him like the proverbial rented mule.

» Loki has offered the X-Men and Alpha Flight the solutions to all the world's problems and can't understand why they're reluctant to accept. Cyclops shouts, "Because throughout time, Loki is known as the god of lies!" and blasts him backwards into a mountain. What chutzpah.

The Well-discovered Country

Okay, here's my two cents' worth on the whole Phoenix thing. While I think the original story is one of the best I've read in the medium, I strongly dislike what has been done with it (and her) since then. Not only has Jean made (apparently) numerous trips to and from the realm beyond, but the original story was retrofitted so that it wasn't really Jean who died at all. And in the interim, a clone of Jean managed to get Scott to marry her, then dump him and seduce Alex (Remember Madeline Pryor? I thought so.) Meanwhile, we as readers had to wade through Jean's whole "I can't believe he married someone else just because he thought I was dead" phase. What tripe. I did like the 'Rachel Summers as Phoenix' storyline, though - at least up to the point when Wolverine tried to kill her. But I digress.

I guess what really bothers me about the on-again off-again Phoenix thing is how it spread to comicdom in general. I dislike how casually the writers (and bean counters, I suspect) have come to treat death.

Now we all know the First Rule of Comic Books: "If you don't see a body, he's not dead. He's in Acapulco, and he'll be back in six months." That's a comic book staple.^a

This was not the same situation, though. Phoenix died, and it was not a trick, not a gimmick, not a dream sequence, not an alternate universe version, and not a 'she's only mostly dead' scenario. She really died - bravely, heroically, and for a reason. We all saw it. We watched her weigh the options and make the decision to give up her own life. She knew what she had to do to save the universe, and she made the sacrifice willingly. She chose the journey to 'the undiscovered country', knowing that she, like any other traveler, would never return. That's what makes the story so powerful.

Now, however, it seems that practically anyone in the superheroic (and supervillainous) world can get into and out of the Plutonian realm at pretty much any time they please. Hades, it seems, has called off Cerberus and installed a revolving door.

Granted, people die in the comics, always have. Normals die all the time, especially 'trained normals' (also known as agents, minions, mooks, popcorn, or redshirts). Important supporting characters (i.e., Gwen Stacy) sometimes die, too, though not nearly as often as the mooks. When a villain dies, it's usually a pretty dramatic moment, mostly because the hero has to deal with the repercussions, and that can lead to a lot of great character development.

But when a hero dies, it should be a big deal. The loss of a hero should cause other heroes to stop and examine their own lives, face their own mortality, rededicate themselves to the cause, whatever. It should mean something. Something more than an means of generating revenue, anyway.

But even when I was reading comics regularly - in the late 80's and early 90's, the dawn of the Iron Age - I could see the trend developing. There were many meaningless deaths: Doug Ramsey (Cypher), Guardian, Marrina (and they didn't even have the decency to kill her off in her own book!), the entire Morlock nation, ad nauseam. And that's a lot of why I stopped reading.

Death in the comics is no longer dramatic; it no longer really means anything. And it's sad to think that it all started with the otherwise noble and memorable death of Jean Grey.

--
^a It works pretty well for soap operas, too. Don't ask how I know that.