Friday, May 27, 2005

Worst. Costumes. Ever.

What do the Black Condor, Adam Warlock, Shatterstar, The Mod Gorilla Boss, Dr. Bong, and the entire cast of X-Force have in common?

According to SomethingAwful.com, they share the distinction of having the worst costumes in comics.

This link leads to several pages featuring these and other comic fashion faux pas, along with running commentary. Fun stuff!

Thursday, May 19, 2005

Revenge of the Sith

I arrived at the theater 3.5 hours before the premiere and staked my claim as 10th in line. Impressive. Most Impressive. I'm no stranger to Star Wars lines. Beginning with The Empire Strikes Back, I've lined up in advance of every Star Wars opening, even the release of all three Special Editions. If I hadn't been teaching this summer, I probably would have camped out for what is most likely the final Star Wars premiere. It was possibly the longest 3.5 hours of my life.

While the film isn't the Lucas grand slam for which I was hoping, it's a significant improvement over The Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones (for the record, I enjoyed both). I enjoyed myself thoroughly and walked away content. Not thrilled, not overjoyed, not awestruck by the perfectness of the spectacle, but pleased. Revenge of the Sith is a fitting end to the Star Wars experience.

Many of the classic prequel flaws remain, although not to the same degree. The love story between Anakin and Padme still feels forced and their dialogue is, at times, downright juvenile. There is a particularly touching moment when Anakin and Padme, separated by their duties and significant physical distance, stare in each other's direction. Without a single word, the viewer understands how deeply these two care for one another. The next time they exchange dialogue, the spell is broken. Portman's overall acting in this film is still the worst of the lot. I love her other work but she's just terrible in the prequel films. Christiansen displays the ability to play a brooding and angry man and little else. He's best when his brow is furrowed. There are also a couple scenes which seem out of place. Yoda's adventure on Kashyyk with the Wookies isn't necessary for the development of the plot. Lucas also continues to pack every freaking frame of the film with CGI; there's so much going on that it's difficult to pay attention to the characters.

Despite the flaws, I still think Revenge of the Sith makes a fine addition to the Star Wars mythos. Ewan McGregor and Ian McDiarmid continue as the best actors of the lot. McGregor's Obi-wan is terrific; he's self-assured, committed to the higher ideals of the Jedi order, and still enjoys a good joke. Of all the prequel characters, Obi-wan displays the most depth. McDiarmid's Palpatine/Darth Sidious is conniving, manipulative, and megalomaniacal. What a great combination! While many reviews have criticized Anakin's final descent to the dark side as being too forced or quick, I thought it quite appropriate. Darth Sidious plays on all the right fears and Anakin, with good intention, makes a horrible decision. Other highlights of the film include the surprising way in which the Jedi Purge is carried out. We actually get to see quick scenes of various Jedi being eliminated. Anakin's confrontation with the Padawan learners is chilling, as is a teen Jedi's last stand on the steps of the Jedi Temple.

My favorite element of the film, however, is the slow realization by Yoda and Obi-wan that they've failed both the Jedi Order and the broader galaxy. Blinded by his commitment to the traditions and doctrine of the Jedi, Yoda allowed the Order to lose sight of its humanness. Rather than allowing the Order to evolve and grow, and thus preparing for the impending Sith threat, Yoda devoted himself to the old ways. In the closing minutes of the film, Yoda understands that the cause is lost and that he and Obi-wan must go into exile. Similarly, Obi-wan realizes that his attachment to Anakin, hampered his ability to see potential dangers.* In becoming too attached to Anakin, Obi-wan refuses to see his former padawan's slow descent to the Dark Side. Obi-wan's struggle to come to terms with his own failings, as well as the actions of Anakin, are no more apparent than the much awaited Obi-wan Kenobi/Darth Vader duel. Resolved to do the right thing, Obi-wan lets go of his attachment to his former padawan; his emotional pain is apparent throughout the duel. He struggles up to the last possible second, trying to get Anakin/Darth Vader to let go of his anger and hate. When it becomes apparent that Anakin is too immersed in fear, anger, and hatred, Obi-wan lets go of the friendship and leaves Anakin to die.

If you're a Star Wars fan, get out there and see this film. While I'd put this film as the 2nd or 3rd best of the Star Wars saga (The Empire Strikes Back is firmly entrenched at #1; A New Hope or Revenge of the Sith follows at 2), I'd like to hear what others have to say on the matter. I'll be hitting the theater for a second viewing in the next day or so.

May the Force be with you!

*When all is said and done, resisting attachment is the grand theme to this film; through attachment--attachment to material possessions, outdated ideas, and relationships--we create our own suffering

Monday, May 16, 2005

Follow the Bouncing Brick

This post comes to you courtesy of the Ogden Gaming Consortium.

Last Thursday brought one of those rare gaming moments that's so unusual that it just begs to be documented. The scene: A prison break is taking place at the paranormal correctional facility located on (or under, more specifically) an island off the coast of Freedom City. The New Champions, a group of young superheroes and the city's newest sensation, arrive just in time to see villains start to emerge from one of the bunkers. Jeopardy, the team brick, has jumped from the team jet and disabled (read: obliterated) the villains' getaway vehicle. Now it's time to smack down anyone lacking the good sense to go back to their cells. In other words, all the villains.

While the bunker from which the villains are emerging is fairly small, it provides three ways out. There are two doors, one each along the east and south walls. The west wall features an elevator shaft that the villains have also blown open and from which any that can fly are trying to escape. My character, Morningstar (think Hawkgirl from the Justice League cartoon, at least tactically) is covering the elevator shaft, being the only flyer on the team. Deadboy (an energy-draining Goth hero) and Blindside (a darkness-wielding mutant) are covering the east door, Jeopardy is at the top of the stairs on the south side, and Terminal Velocity ('TV', a speedster) is zipping around hitting whatever target presents itself. Defender II is presumed to be somewhere close by, but is not having much of an impact on the actual situation. As usual.

Morningstar has been trading blows with a villain named Flamestrike. I've tagged her pretty good a couple of times but haven't managed to put her down yet. About this time, another villain pops up out of the shaft: Lady Freeze. And my mind starts to work: one ice character, one flaming character, both up off the ground and within easy reach. So I fly around Lady Freeze and try to knock her back into Flamestrike. It works. End result: I take a little frost damage, Flamestrike takes some damage and is knocked back several hexes, and Lady Freeze is out cold (so to speak). And TV, in that English accent he uses, shouts out, "'Ey, everyone, Morningstar's playing billiards!"

Now, I told you that story so that I could tell you this one.

While this has been going on, Jeopardy, TV, and the others at various times have been dealing with a villain named Bulldozer—no, not the obnoxious, pro wrestler-cum-supervillain from Champions v.1-4, but a reasonably powerful and dangerous brick. Dealing with him is bad enough, but the other villains haven’t the good manners to wait for us to put him down before coming out themselves (in alphabetical order, no less). We had determined by this point that we needed to find some way to start blocking the exits. So after my little pool shot, someone suggests, "Knock Bulldozer down the stairs!" Jeopardy obliges, and Bulldozer disappears down the stairwell. On the next phase, Bulldozer comes flying back up out of the stairwell (not under his own power, mind you). And it still isn't enough to put him down. So, on his next action, he returns the favor and knocks Jeopardy down the stairs, with similar results.

By this time, Jeopardy is tired of this guy. (Jeopardy is not the most patient hero in the business to start with.) So she adjusts her tactics, picks up Bulldozer, and throws him down the stairs. He hits some nameless schmuck at the bottom, and Jepoardy's player rolls an exceptional damage roll. Result: Bulldozer and schmuck #1 are both down for the count. But wait, there's more. Consider that at the bottom of the stairs we have a narrow hallway packed with supervillains hoping to get a whiff of fresh oxygen. In other words, there's nowhere for them to go to get out of the way.

Jeopardy had rolled well enough on her knockback roll to send schmuck #1 flying backwards into another unsuspecting villain. So she rolls again, scoring another exceptional damage roll, resulting in enough damage to schmuck #2 to knock him flying backwards into yet another unsuspecting felon. The knockback from that roll (which probably violated Conservation of Momentum, but we weren't complaining) results in a knockout of schmuck #2 and a general mess that anyone who still wants to get out that way has to spend considerable time and effort trying to climb over/through. Three knockouts for Jeopardy on a single attack, plus a custom made traffic jam. The game had changed from billiards to dominoes.

This was made all the more remarkable by that fact that Jepoardy’s player does not traditionally enjoy great dice rolls, especially where damage is concerned. Curtis reminded me that they had tracked this once, and found that her rolls were below average often enough to be statistically interesting. Worse, she has this tendency to roll low at the worst possible times. It’s as if the player (rather than the character) has a die or two of Unluck. She makes up for this by being creative in the way she fights and by having more dice of damage than anyone else. Unfortunately, this is usually only moderately helpful. But on this day, she managed to roll high, and the results were impressive—scary, even.

The moral of the story: Good tactics are useful, but good die rolls are indispensable.

Tuesday, May 10, 2005

The Joy of Treks

With my time off between semesters this week, I've been able to catch a few Star Trek reruns. As you may be aware, Spike TV (the Worst. Name. Ever. for a network, IMHO) runs a four hour block of Trek each weekday starting at 11:00 a.m. Eastern time.

With the recent cancellation of Enterprise, there is a certain symmetry among the five Trek series: seven years of The Next Generation, seven years of Deep Space 9, and seven years of Voyager. The four seasons of Enterprise, combined with the three seasons of the original Star Trek, make for seven years as well.

In other words, we have approximately the same amount of material from each of four different Trek flavors: early Trek, TNG, DS9, and Voyager. So, if I were running the network in question, here's what I would do (immediately after changing its name, which would be my first official act):

11:00 Star Trek (the original series) / Enterprise
12:00 Star Trek: The Next Generation
 1:00 Star Trek: Deep Space 9
 2:00 Star Trek: Voyager

And in the 3:00 hour, maybe I'd see about bringing in episodes of other cancelled or syndicated sci-fi series. Stargate SG-1 would be cool, or Firefly, or Farscape. And of course Babylon 5 would find its way into regular rotation.

Thoughts?

Sunday, May 08, 2005

Since I Found Serenity

Take my love. Take my land.
Take me where I cannot stand.
I don't care, I'm still free.
You can't take the sky from me.

Take me out to the black.
Tell 'em I ain't comin' back.
Burn the land And boil the sea.
You can't take the sky from me.

Have no place I can be since I found Serenity.
But you can't take the sky from me.


Almost three years ago, Joss Whedon’s short-lived television series caught my attention and refused to let go. Despite my great love of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and everything Whedonesque, his Firefly series stands as Whedon’s best work to date. Set approximately 500 years in the future, the science fiction western depicted the adventures of Captain Mal and his struggle to forge a family out of the motley crew that stumbled into his sphere of influence. From strike-it-rich-quick schemes, to hauling cattle across interplanetary expanses, to protecting a brothel full of whores, to eating dinner at the large wooden table in the ship’s galley, the crew of Serenity--a Firefly class ship--struggled to earn a living and do the next right thing. Although a mere thirteen episodes were ever made, the unique setting and dynamic characterizations earned Firefly my coveted "Favorite Television Series Ever" award.

And that brings me to the reason for my current post. Several days ago, I managed to procure two tickets to a sneak preview screening of the nearly complete Firefly movie. Now titled Serenity, Joss Whedon somehow managed to convince studio executives to revive a cancelled television series on the big screen.* Now in post-production, the movie premieres on September 30.

For fans of the television series, and general science fiction fans, this movie does not disappoint. The Firefly 'verse is still a very harsh and inhospitable place in which to try and carve out a living. The general premise of the film, as evidenced by the recent trailer, puts the crew of Serenity on the lam. Picking up on one of the unresolved plots from the television series, The Alliance (the militaristic government) continues its attempts to capture River and Simon Tam, two fugitives who now call Serenity home. Without offering any major spoilers, let me say that Serenity offers all the classic elements of the television series: bungled heists, barroom brawls, a smattering of gunplay, Chinese cursing, trademark Whedon humor, and a postmodern visual aesthetic. The highlight of the film, however, is the continued superb characterization.

Captain Malcolm Reynolds remains a might conflicted when his altruistic Browncoat ideals, love of crew, and personal survival instincts clash. The light-hearted, mischievous Mal, one of my favorite elements of the series, is missing through most of the film. Instead, the film gives us an intense portrait of Dark Mal, the captain who is willing to sacrifice just about anyone for the safety of his crew. While Zoe remains the ever-committed right hand and sometimes conscience of Mal, her husband, Wash, continues as the ship's comedian and pilot. Kaylee's innocence and love of engines still stand in stark contrast to her not-so-innocent carnal desires. Jayne, the resident thug and cantankerous varmint, persists in his desire to be both part of a crew and satiate his self-serving interests. River, a character who gets a great deal of screen time in the film, is as quirky and dangerous as ever; Simon remains the most loving of brothers and the best ship's doctor in the universe. Inara, relegated to what I thought was secondary status throughout the film, serves as irresistible bait and source of befuddlement for Mal. And Shepard Book, now serving as a clergyman for an out-of-the-way colony, still preaches the best sermon in the known galaxy. It's a damn shame that Inara and Shepard didn’t get more screen. With nine characters, I suppose something had to go.

With excellent characterization, a decent plot, and a thoroughly enjoyable visual presentation, I recommend the move enthusiastically to both fans of the series and fans of science fiction. As much as STK and I enjoyed the movie (two enthusiastic thumbs up), I have my doubts as to whether this film will be a commercial hit. When I walked into the theater, I already had an intimate understanding of the characters and their motivations. Obviously, a two hour movie can't come anywhere close to the character development accomplished in 13 episodes. I'm afraid the general population, the population needed to assure the continuation of the Firefly franchise, won't be as intrigued by the characters. Simply put, they don't have the same emotional investment as fans. Oh, I'm sure the general movie-goer will enjoy the chase scenes, fisticuffs, gunslinging, and beautiful renderings of epic space battle, all of which are quite entertaining, but will they care about the characters?

*The revival of the franchise is due, in no small part, the incredible DVD sales of the cancelled series.

Saturday, May 07, 2005

Darth Blog

With Episode III: Revenge of the Sith less then two weeks away, Star Wars is springing up all over. One of the best SW themed things I've encountered the last few days is the following.

The Darth Side: Memoirs of a Monster.
Journal of Darth Vader, Lord of the Sith and Servant to His Supreme Excellency the Emperor Palpatine
.

Monday, May 02, 2005

Mostly Harmless

On Saturday, as a sort of end-of-the-semester treat, I took myself to see The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy. Here is my review.

Overall, I quite enjoyed the movie. It was fun, generally fast-moving, and quirky. The opening sequence featuring dancing dolphins in a Broadway revue-style musical number ("So Long and Thanks for All the Fish!") was a particularly nice touch. So was the Orbitz / Napster-style animation used for the sequences involving Guide entries. And the effects surrounding the use of the Improbability Drive were very offbeat and clever.

I also liked the way the characters came across. Arthur is not quite such a bumbling idiot as he is in the books. Zaphod comes across as a combination hippie, political shyster, and used-car salesman. In other words, pretty much like the book — but more so. (I found the way they handled his extra head and arm rather interesting, too.) Ford's role is downplayed a little, but Trillian is actually better developed in this movie than in the book. And to top it off, casting Alan Rickman as the voice of Marvin was just perfect.

Now, the main complaint I usually have about the cinematic version of a book that I enjoy has to do with the inability of the film to stay true to the book. This happened with this film...but I found that I didn't mind it that much. There were a couple of elements that were original to the movie, as well as expansions of things mentioned only in passing in the book(s). The interplay and relationships between the various main characters (A, F, T, Z, and M) varied from verbatim from the book to completely different in both tone and content. (I can't really say more without spoiling, but when you see it, you'll know what I mean.) In general, where there were changes, I either enjoyed them or at least found them within the spirit of the original work.

If you've read the book(s), you should enjoy this movie. And as it turns out, that leads to my main complaint about the movie. It assumes, in some measure, that anyone seeing it already has a reasonable knowledge of the book. If you haven't read the book(s) recently, you may miss some of what makes it funny, or at least interesting.

Mainly what I noticed was the movie's lack of explanatory detail. For example, we see (I don't consider this a spoiler) Ford and Zaphod 'enjoying' a Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster, with the Guide explaining in the background that drinking one is equivalent to having your brains bashed in with a slice of lemon wrapped around a large gold brick. But there's a good bit more about the PGGB that could have been included — like the fact that the Guide tells you how to make one, and that consequently, "the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy sells rather better than the Encyclopedia Galactica".

We also see some bits involving the Vogons (including the obligatory poetry reading), Magrathea, and Deep Thought that were only amusing to me because I remembered what the book had said about them. I think anyone who goes into this movie without having read the book may not find it very entertaining.

So, in short, the movie is almost, but not entirely, unlike the book. But it's still a lot of fun. I give it a B.