In light of Marvel trying to foist the ridiculous Age of Apocalypse on faithful readers (I gave up comics altogether when I found out Marvel was putting together this steaming pile of universe bending crap), I swore I'd never get sucked into another universe wide marketing event. And I've remained true to that pledge since returning to comics several years ago. Marvel's latest pile of universe bending crap, Civil War, has received some of the most vitriolic criticism I've ever seen. From what I've read the two primary players--Captain American and Iron Man--have been totally out-of-character throughout all seven issues. Would it kill some of these writers to go back and fracking read the comics of those they're about to bring to life? Apparently so. Anyway, here's what I understand is a very humorous rendition of the final issue of Civil wars.
IRON MAN: I am totally surprised that Cloak is using his teleportation power to rescue his teammates, just as I was totally surprised at the Invisible Woman using her invisibility powers to infiltrate our prison and Hulkling using his shape-shifting abilities to impersonate someone! Keep an eye on the Human Torch, I suspect he might be ready to unleash a blast of frigid cold on us!
Ahahahaha! I am SO glad I didn't drop a single cent on this garbage. The various humorous synopses have been a real hoot to read, though. Here's a version with art and everything.
Civil War in 30 Seconds
Brilliant! Way better than reading that drivel at 2.99 a pop.
8 comments:
And what do you think about Marvel Zombies?
That "Civil War in 30 Seconds" bit was brilliant. Absa-fraggin'-lutely brilliant.
I couldn't agree more, Mikey. Hilarious. I couldn't believe the "resolution" when it was posted to the comic book message board I frequent.
Haven't read the Zombies stuff, Tiff. Have you? I might try to take a quick glance the next time I'm in a comic book store. The idea sounds preposterous but there are times when the preposterous works, you know?
...but there are times when the preposterous works, you know?
As opposed to Civil War, where preposterous fails to work on ANY level.
I have read it and it's freaky. Cool, if I can say that without sounding like a complete weirdo, but freaky. You might enjoy it....it certainly shakes up the Marvel universe.
The orignal Marvel Zombies mini that was a spinoff from Ultimate FF was pretty funny.
And one of the zombies ended up in a couple issues of the Exiles and was fraking hilarous.
The really funny thing about the Civil war is that the idiot writer felt that Iron Man's side was the sympathetic one.
Sheesh.
The whole Civil War thing's actually just a metaphor for civil rights in the age of Homeland Security or something equally profound. The characters themselves aren't important, nor is internal or external consistency. It's the MESSAGE that counts!
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