If this show follows the WB tradition of such shows as Batman, Superman, X-men Evolution, and Legion of Superheroes, we could have a hit on our hands.
Sunday, June 24, 2007
Friendly Neighborhood
Spider-man is heading for Kid's WB!
If this show follows the WB tradition of such shows as Batman, Superman, X-men Evolution, and Legion of Superheroes, we could have a hit on our hands.
If this show follows the WB tradition of such shows as Batman, Superman, X-men Evolution, and Legion of Superheroes, we could have a hit on our hands.
Monday, June 04, 2007
My Roleplaying Cred
| Your Ultimate Roleplaying Purity Score | ||
| Category | Your Score | Average |
| Hacklust | 40.57% Will kill for XP | 53.5% |
| Sensitive Roleplaying | 45.57% "But what's my motivation for this scene?" | 54.7% |
| GM Experience | 42.75% Puts the players through the wringer | 69.4% |
| Systems Knowledge | 91.95% Played in a couple of campaigns | 90.4% |
| Livin' La Vida Dorka | 66.67% Goes nuts on the weekends | 63.3% |
| You are 59.82% pure Average Score: 68.8% | ||
Monday, May 28, 2007
And Yet Another
Well, Lucas didn't announce another movie or anything at CIV but TPTB did release a trailer for the new 3D Clone Wars series.
Clone Wars Trailer
The shot of Anakin jumping from STAP to STAP, deflecting blaster bolts, is pretty nifty. My hope is that this series will develop Anakin and Obi-wan as the heroes of the Clone Wars. The novelization of ROTS did a nice job of emphasizing the fact that Anakin and Obi-wan were household names, but the movie did little in that regard.
Truth be told, I'll love just about anything Star Wars.
Clone Wars Trailer
The shot of Anakin jumping from STAP to STAP, deflecting blaster bolts, is pretty nifty. My hope is that this series will develop Anakin and Obi-wan as the heroes of the Clone Wars. The novelization of ROTS did a nice job of emphasizing the fact that Anakin and Obi-wan were household names, but the movie did little in that regard.
Truth be told, I'll love just about anything Star Wars.
Friday, May 25, 2007
Another Reason to Celebrate
In remembrance of influential (nay, legendary) science fiction writer Douglas Adams, let us all take a moment and grab a towel:
May 25th is Towel Day
Have a great day, all you hoopy froods out there. And Don't Panic.
May 25th is Towel Day
Have a great day, all you hoopy froods out there. And Don't Panic.
30 Years
Star Wars was released on this date in 1977.
Who could have imagined how big it would turn out to be?
Edit: UserFriendly.org offers this tribute today:
Most excellent.
Who could have imagined how big it would turn out to be?
Edit: UserFriendly.org offers this tribute today:
Most excellent.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
Spider-Mess
I've been meaning to post my thoughts on Spider-man III for the last couple weeks. When I heard about all the different players included in this film (Sandman, Green Goblin II, Venom, Gwen Stacy), I suspected a messy plot. My fears were not unfounded. There's way too much going on over the course of 2:20 or so. Three villains involving different plots? Come on. You don't need to be a film executive to know that's a train wreck waiting to happen. The action sequences are fun, but the film feels rushed and sloppy. Rather than offering a point by point review of Spider-man III, I thought I'd offer my thoughts on how Raimi could have made an excellent, character driven superhero movie.
1. Ax Venom. The character only works with significant set up. Introduce the black suit in this film and save Venom until the IV installment of the franchise. With all the money generated by the Spider-man films, there will be a IV film.
2. Make Green Goblin II the primary villain. Rather than having GG II and Spidey duke it out all movie, go for the psychological angle. The two meet early in the film and battle to a draw. Harry decides to completely destroy Peter's life (which he does in the current incarnation of the film . . . in 15 minutes. Argh!). Harry dismantles Peter's life in every way possible: job, school, and home. Jameson stops buying his pictures, he gets evicted, flunks out of school, and Mary Jane walks away (manipulated or on her own--doesn't matter). Aunt May might even be hospitalized (Harry will stop at nothing to have his revenge). Much of the film would be about this systematic destruction of Peter's life.
3. In the midst of all this personal chaos, the Sandman goes on a New York crime spree. This further exasperates Peter's situation; he's trying to fight crime while his life unravels.
4. Somewhere along the line, the symbiote enters the picture. Down and out, Peter encounters the new suit and embraces the power it provides.
5. Spider-man finally defeats/apprehends Sandman, only to discover Harry/GG II is behind the crime spree. Sandman is part of the larger plot to unhinge Peter.
6. Feeling the influence of the symbiote, Peter finally gives in to the dark side. Green Goblin II and aggressive Black Suit Spider-man duke it out in a climactic battle.
7. Spider-man wins, but beats Harry to a pulp in the process. Harry's amnesia protects Peter's identity. The film closes with Mary Jane and Peter encountering one another in Harry's hospital room. Visiting hours end and the two leave the room together; Peter asks MJ if she wants to grab a cup of coffee. She agrees and we see the two walk away together, hopeful that things will be set right. As they walk away, we see a shimmer of the black suit from beneath Peter' clothes.
8. Roll credits.
9. No Gwen Stacy. This storyline is sacred ground for Spider-man fans. The films went in a different direction. Leave it alone. Period.
Film IV focuses on Peter putting his life back together, symbiote in tow, and the downfall of Eddie Brock.
You should have talked to me, Raimi. There's no reason these films can't be entertaining as all get out and offer a quality story.
1. Ax Venom. The character only works with significant set up. Introduce the black suit in this film and save Venom until the IV installment of the franchise. With all the money generated by the Spider-man films, there will be a IV film.
2. Make Green Goblin II the primary villain. Rather than having GG II and Spidey duke it out all movie, go for the psychological angle. The two meet early in the film and battle to a draw. Harry decides to completely destroy Peter's life (which he does in the current incarnation of the film . . . in 15 minutes. Argh!). Harry dismantles Peter's life in every way possible: job, school, and home. Jameson stops buying his pictures, he gets evicted, flunks out of school, and Mary Jane walks away (manipulated or on her own--doesn't matter). Aunt May might even be hospitalized (Harry will stop at nothing to have his revenge). Much of the film would be about this systematic destruction of Peter's life.
3. In the midst of all this personal chaos, the Sandman goes on a New York crime spree. This further exasperates Peter's situation; he's trying to fight crime while his life unravels.
4. Somewhere along the line, the symbiote enters the picture. Down and out, Peter encounters the new suit and embraces the power it provides.
5. Spider-man finally defeats/apprehends Sandman, only to discover Harry/GG II is behind the crime spree. Sandman is part of the larger plot to unhinge Peter.
6. Feeling the influence of the symbiote, Peter finally gives in to the dark side. Green Goblin II and aggressive Black Suit Spider-man duke it out in a climactic battle.
7. Spider-man wins, but beats Harry to a pulp in the process. Harry's amnesia protects Peter's identity. The film closes with Mary Jane and Peter encountering one another in Harry's hospital room. Visiting hours end and the two leave the room together; Peter asks MJ if she wants to grab a cup of coffee. She agrees and we see the two walk away together, hopeful that things will be set right. As they walk away, we see a shimmer of the black suit from beneath Peter' clothes.
8. Roll credits.
9. No Gwen Stacy. This storyline is sacred ground for Spider-man fans. The films went in a different direction. Leave it alone. Period.
Film IV focuses on Peter putting his life back together, symbiote in tow, and the downfall of Eddie Brock.
You should have talked to me, Raimi. There's no reason these films can't be entertaining as all get out and offer a quality story.
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
The Top 15 Han Solo Quotes You Need to Use in Regular Conversation
From Double Viking via Fark.com. The article gives full descriptions of each event.
15. “I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”
When to say it: When you get a bad feeling, obviously
14. “Had a slight weapons malfunction, but everything's perfectly alright now. We're fine, we're all fine, here, now, thank you. How are you?”
When to say it: When your cell phone signal begins to break up
13. “No, no, NO. THIS one goes THERE, THAT one goes THERE.”
When to say it: When working on a project with a partner
12. “Great, kid. Don’t get cocky.”
When to say it: When a friend accomplishes something
11. “Never tell me the odds!”
When to say it: When gambling
10. “Yeah, I’ll bet you have.”
When to say it: When an intergalactic bounty hunter tells you he’s been waiting a long time to bring you in
9. “Here’s where the fun begins.”
When to say it: When you’re about to enter a dangerous situation
8. “You know, sometimes I amaze even myself.”
When to say it: Anytime
7. “What an incredible smell you’ve discovered!”
When to say it: Anytime you smell something awful
6. “Laugh it up, fuzzball.”
When to say it: When a fat/hairy person laughs at you
5. “Wonderful girl. Either I’m going to kill her, or I’m beginning to like her.”
When to say it: When talking about a woman you’re attracted to
4. “How we doin’?”
“Same as always.”
“That bad, huh?”
When to say it: When asking someone about their day
3. “I've seen a lot of strange stuff, but I've never seen anything to make me believe there's one all-powerful force controlling everything. There's no mystical energy field controls my destiny.”
When to say it: During a debate on religion
2. “Hey…it’s me!”
When to say it: When someone tells you to “be careful”
1. “I love you.”
“I know.”
When to say it: Duh
15. “I’ve got a bad feeling about this.”
When to say it: When you get a bad feeling, obviously
14. “Had a slight weapons malfunction, but everything's perfectly alright now. We're fine, we're all fine, here, now, thank you. How are you?”
When to say it: When your cell phone signal begins to break up
13. “No, no, NO. THIS one goes THERE, THAT one goes THERE.”
When to say it: When working on a project with a partner
12. “Great, kid. Don’t get cocky.”
When to say it: When a friend accomplishes something
11. “Never tell me the odds!”
When to say it: When gambling
10. “Yeah, I’ll bet you have.”
When to say it: When an intergalactic bounty hunter tells you he’s been waiting a long time to bring you in
9. “Here’s where the fun begins.”
When to say it: When you’re about to enter a dangerous situation
8. “You know, sometimes I amaze even myself.”
When to say it: Anytime
7. “What an incredible smell you’ve discovered!”
When to say it: Anytime you smell something awful
6. “Laugh it up, fuzzball.”
When to say it: When a fat/hairy person laughs at you
5. “Wonderful girl. Either I’m going to kill her, or I’m beginning to like her.”
When to say it: When talking about a woman you’re attracted to
4. “How we doin’?”
“Same as always.”
“That bad, huh?”
When to say it: When asking someone about their day
3. “I've seen a lot of strange stuff, but I've never seen anything to make me believe there's one all-powerful force controlling everything. There's no mystical energy field controls my destiny.”
When to say it: During a debate on religion
2. “Hey…it’s me!”
When to say it: When someone tells you to “be careful”
1. “I love you.”
“I know.”
When to say it: Duh
Wednesday, March 28, 2007
Look at the size of that thing!
Well, this should make the postal service rate increase a little more palatable, anyway:
Fifteen Star Wars stamps on a single sheet. Impressive. Most impressive.
Even with a Millennium Falcon stamp, though, I doubt a first class letter will be able to make the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs.
Fifteen Star Wars stamps on a single sheet. Impressive. Most impressive.
Even with a Millennium Falcon stamp, though, I doubt a first class letter will be able to make the Kessel Run in less than 12 parsecs.
Tuesday, March 13, 2007
Sunday, March 11, 2007
Omega Flight!
Years ago, I had great hopes for the original Alpha Flight comic. Early on, it was a fun ride. Guardian, Sasquatch, Aurora & Northstar, Snowbird, Shaman, Marina, and Puck!
The series got off to a great start, then faded to that "good but not great" limbo that typically leads to cancellation. And that's exactly what happened. Mac died and Heather took his role (which never really worked for me, btw), Aurora and Northstar had their falling out, and then we were treated to the whole bizarro Alien Marinna Loves Sub-Mariner plot that made its way into The Avengers. Despite the weirdness of the plots and borderline dysfunction of the team, I was a fan. I lost track of the various Alpha Flight restarts, however, and really have no idea what happened to the group over the last decade (with the exception of nearly the entire team being snuffed from existence in the pages of New Avengers. Off panel. Another beautiful death sequence brought to you by the geniuses at Marvel Inc!)
Although Alpha Flight can't seem to pull in enough readers to support an on-going title, Marvel is giving a couple of the old Alpha Flight characters yet another chance. I give you Omega Flight, the new 5 issue limited series.
US Agent? Sasquatch? Beta Ray Bill?! I'm such a sucker. Despite my recent rantings about Captain America, I'll probably give this series a try.
Is it just me or is Sasquatch in serious need of some hair conditioner in that second image?
The series got off to a great start, then faded to that "good but not great" limbo that typically leads to cancellation. And that's exactly what happened. Mac died and Heather took his role (which never really worked for me, btw), Aurora and Northstar had their falling out, and then we were treated to the whole bizarro Alien Marinna Loves Sub-Mariner plot that made its way into The Avengers. Despite the weirdness of the plots and borderline dysfunction of the team, I was a fan. I lost track of the various Alpha Flight restarts, however, and really have no idea what happened to the group over the last decade (with the exception of nearly the entire team being snuffed from existence in the pages of New Avengers. Off panel. Another beautiful death sequence brought to you by the geniuses at Marvel Inc!)
Although Alpha Flight can't seem to pull in enough readers to support an on-going title, Marvel is giving a couple of the old Alpha Flight characters yet another chance. I give you Omega Flight, the new 5 issue limited series.
US Agent? Sasquatch? Beta Ray Bill?! I'm such a sucker. Despite my recent rantings about Captain America, I'll probably give this series a try.
Is it just me or is Sasquatch in serious need of some hair conditioner in that second image?
Wednesday, March 07, 2007
Bite the Hand
If this is legit, I'm going to be seriously p!ssed:
Report: Captain America dies on the page
Of all the stupid...I'm speechless. Just speechless.
Report: Captain America dies on the page
Of all the stupid...I'm speechless. Just speechless.
Monday, March 05, 2007
Roll The Bones
One thing that makes Hero System different that most other RPGs is the dice. Champions players don't habitually carry around a bunch of dice that make you think of Kepler trying to align the planets within Platonian solids. We use six-sided dice (abbreviated 'd6'), the kind you used as a kid to play Monopoly, Risk, or Yahtzee. We use d6 and only d6. We're pretty exclusive that way. We only use the fancy dice to indicate on the map where the bad guys are—if we use them at all.
So, where D&D might call on a player to roll a d20 (read as 'a twenty-sided die', a geometric shape called an icosahedron), Hero System calls for the player to roll 3d6 (read as 'three six-sided dice'). Why would anyone prefer rolling three dice when you could only roll one? The answer is simple. It's called "The Bell Curve."
Let's say that in order for your character to perform a certain skill, you have to roll ten or less (abbreviated '10-') on the dice. With either a single d20 or with 3d6, the probability of doing so is 50%. So far, so good. Now, let's say that with experience, you character's roll changes so that now you have to roll eleven or less (11-). The probability of doing so on a d20 is 55%, which is not bad. But on 3d6, the probability jumps to 62.5%. The net effect that the mid-range is opened up substantially with 3d6, while the extremes remain highly improbable. (One effect of this is that a person rolling a d20 is ten times as likely to roll a critical failure and get his/her character killed at an inopportune moment.)
The table below, which I constructed based on my own study and knowledge of probabilities back in the mid-90's, shows how likely each outcome is when 3d6 are rolled. There are 216 possibilities that can arise when rolling 3d6: each of the three dice can achieve six different results, which leads to 63 (6x6x6=216) different total outcomes. Only one of these outcomes produces a result of 3: a '1' on all three dice (abbreviated, for our purposes, as '111'). There are three different ways a 4 can result: each of the three dice could produce a 2, while the others show 1, i.e., 112, 121, and 211. There are six different ways that a 5 can be produced: 113, 131, 311, 122, 212, and 221. And so on.
The table below is organized as follows. The first column shows each possible value from rolling 3d6, 3-18. The second column shows how many different ways (out of 216) that value can be obtained. The third column shows the probability or that value coming up [P(x)]. And the final column—the really useful one—shows the cumulative probability of all values equal to or less than the current value turning up [P(x-)]. So, as can be seen from the table, the chance of rolling 8- is about one in four, while the probability of rolling 14- is about nine in ten.
All hail the Hero System!
So, where D&D might call on a player to roll a d20 (read as 'a twenty-sided die', a geometric shape called an icosahedron), Hero System calls for the player to roll 3d6 (read as 'three six-sided dice'). Why would anyone prefer rolling three dice when you could only roll one? The answer is simple. It's called "The Bell Curve."
Let's say that in order for your character to perform a certain skill, you have to roll ten or less (abbreviated '10-') on the dice. With either a single d20 or with 3d6, the probability of doing so is 50%. So far, so good. Now, let's say that with experience, you character's roll changes so that now you have to roll eleven or less (11-). The probability of doing so on a d20 is 55%, which is not bad. But on 3d6, the probability jumps to 62.5%. The net effect that the mid-range is opened up substantially with 3d6, while the extremes remain highly improbable. (One effect of this is that a person rolling a d20 is ten times as likely to roll a critical failure and get his/her character killed at an inopportune moment.)
The table below, which I constructed based on my own study and knowledge of probabilities back in the mid-90's, shows how likely each outcome is when 3d6 are rolled. There are 216 possibilities that can arise when rolling 3d6: each of the three dice can achieve six different results, which leads to 63 (6x6x6=216) different total outcomes. Only one of these outcomes produces a result of 3: a '1' on all three dice (abbreviated, for our purposes, as '111'). There are three different ways a 4 can result: each of the three dice could produce a 2, while the others show 1, i.e., 112, 121, and 211. There are six different ways that a 5 can be produced: 113, 131, 311, 122, 212, and 221. And so on.
The table below is organized as follows. The first column shows each possible value from rolling 3d6, 3-18. The second column shows how many different ways (out of 216) that value can be obtained. The third column shows the probability or that value coming up [P(x)]. And the final column—the really useful one—shows the cumulative probability of all values equal to or less than the current value turning up [P(x-)]. So, as can be seen from the table, the chance of rolling 8- is about one in four, while the probability of rolling 14- is about nine in ten.
| Value | Occurrences | P(x)% | P(x-)% |
|---|---|---|---|
| 3 | 1 | 0.46 | 0.46 |
| 4 | 3 | 1.38 | 1.85 |
| 5 | 6 | 2.78 | 4.63 |
| 6 | 10 | 4.63 | 9.26 |
| 7 | 15 | 6.94 | 16.2 |
| 8 | 21 | 9.72 | 25.9 |
| 9 | 25 | 11.57 | 37.5 |
| 10 | 27 | 12.50 | 50.0 |
| 11 | 27 | 12.50 | 62.5 |
| 12 | 25 | 11.57 | 74.1 |
| 13 | 21 | 9.72 | 83.8 |
| 14 | 15 | 6.94 | 90.7 |
| 15 | 10 | 4.63 | 95.4 |
| 16 | 6 | 2.78 | 98.1 |
| 17 | 3 | 1.38 | 99.5 |
| 18 | 1 | 0.46 | 100 |
All hail the Hero System!
Tuesday, February 27, 2007
Frelling Civl War
In light of Marvel trying to foist the ridiculous Age of Apocalypse on faithful readers (I gave up comics altogether when I found out Marvel was putting together this steaming pile of universe bending crap), I swore I'd never get sucked into another universe wide marketing event. And I've remained true to that pledge since returning to comics several years ago. Marvel's latest pile of universe bending crap, Civil War, has received some of the most vitriolic criticism I've ever seen. From what I've read the two primary players--Captain American and Iron Man--have been totally out-of-character throughout all seven issues. Would it kill some of these writers to go back and fracking read the comics of those they're about to bring to life? Apparently so. Anyway, here's what I understand is a very humorous rendition of the final issue of Civil wars.
IRON MAN: I am totally surprised that Cloak is using his teleportation power to rescue his teammates, just as I was totally surprised at the Invisible Woman using her invisibility powers to infiltrate our prison and Hulkling using his shape-shifting abilities to impersonate someone! Keep an eye on the Human Torch, I suspect he might be ready to unleash a blast of frigid cold on us!
Ahahahaha! I am SO glad I didn't drop a single cent on this garbage. The various humorous synopses have been a real hoot to read, though. Here's a version with art and everything.
Civil War in 30 Seconds
Brilliant! Way better than reading that drivel at 2.99 a pop.
IRON MAN: I am totally surprised that Cloak is using his teleportation power to rescue his teammates, just as I was totally surprised at the Invisible Woman using her invisibility powers to infiltrate our prison and Hulkling using his shape-shifting abilities to impersonate someone! Keep an eye on the Human Torch, I suspect he might be ready to unleash a blast of frigid cold on us!
Ahahahaha! I am SO glad I didn't drop a single cent on this garbage. The various humorous synopses have been a real hoot to read, though. Here's a version with art and everything.
Civil War in 30 Seconds
Brilliant! Way better than reading that drivel at 2.99 a pop.
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Babble On and On
Babylon 5 was, in humble opinion, the best sci-fi on television. The stories were compelling, the writing was tight, the dialogue was naturally witty and often poignant, and the actors' performances were authentic. The show even got the science right. And it all centered around a five year story arc, the scope of which is almost unparalleled in television. It was, for lack of a better word, epic.
So I was sad when it was over. When I got the chance, years later, to watch the entire series from beginning to end, I was even more impressed. My praises of the show ultimately led to my participation here. But when it was over, again I was saddened. The same thing happened when Nancy and I recently watched the series. Babylon 5 was gone, and we missed it.
When we got a Netflix subscription for Christmas, the follow-up series Crusade was one of the first things we queued. We've been through one disk of the 13-episode series, and so far so good. It's not as good as B5, but sequels never are (with the possible exceptions of The Godfather Part II, Toy Story 2, and Addams Family Values). But it's kept us in touch with that universe, and made us wonder if someday we might go back.
So imagine my joy to hear that the first installment of Babylon 5: The Lost Tales is scheduled for release on DVD sometime in the first half of this year.
A synopsis from The Lurker's Guide to Babylon 5 gives the following overview:
While travelling from Minbar to Babylon 5 to celebrate the 10th anniversary of the Interstellar Alliance, Sheridan picks up an unexpected guest with a dire warning. Meanwhile, Lochley summons a priest to the station to help with a problem that may have supernatural implications.
There's even a link to some photos taken on-set by series creator J. Michael Straczynski.
And if all of that weren't enough, the second installment of the anthology will feature a story with one of the best characters from the original series: former B5 security chief Michael Garibaldi.
Too bad there will be no more stories with G'Kar, Dr. Franklin, or Zathras, though.
So I was sad when it was over. When I got the chance, years later, to watch the entire series from beginning to end, I was even more impressed. My praises of the show ultimately led to my participation here. But when it was over, again I was saddened. The same thing happened when Nancy and I recently watched the series. Babylon 5 was gone, and we missed it.
When we got a Netflix subscription for Christmas, the follow-up series Crusade was one of the first things we queued. We've been through one disk of the 13-episode series, and so far so good. It's not as good as B5, but sequels never are (with the possible exceptions of The Godfather Part II, Toy Story 2, and Addams Family Values). But it's kept us in touch with that universe, and made us wonder if someday we might go back.
So imagine my joy to hear that the first installment of Babylon 5: The Lost Tales is scheduled for release on DVD sometime in the first half of this year.
A synopsis from The Lurker's Guide to Babylon 5 gives the following overview:
While travelling from Minbar to Babylon 5 to celebrate the 10th anniversary of the Interstellar Alliance, Sheridan picks up an unexpected guest with a dire warning. Meanwhile, Lochley summons a priest to the station to help with a problem that may have supernatural implications.
There's even a link to some photos taken on-set by series creator J. Michael Straczynski.
And if all of that weren't enough, the second installment of the anthology will feature a story with one of the best characters from the original series: former B5 security chief Michael Garibaldi.
Too bad there will be no more stories with G'Kar, Dr. Franklin, or Zathras, though.
Thursday, December 21, 2006
Friday, December 15, 2006
Trek News/Rumors
One way or another, there's new Trek on the horizon.
Animated Web Series?
Trek XI to be released in 2008?
I think I could really dig this animated idea. Look what Clone Wars Animated did for Star Wars.
Animated Web Series?
Trek XI to be released in 2008?
I think I could really dig this animated idea. Look what Clone Wars Animated did for Star Wars.
VIPER Jokes
For the uninitiated, VIPER is the premier villain organization in the Champions universe. If there's arms smuggling, international theft, harassment of superheroes, or a world takeover plot in the works, you can bet VIPER's got their hands in it.
VIPER is more effective than the comic book organization it's based on (Marvel's HYDRA). There's no shortage of mad scientists, cunning but cowardly Nest Leaders, and supervillains on the payroll, but VIPER is best known for its agents. And that's the problem. VIPER agents have a (not entirely undeserved) reputation for underachievement. Think of Imperial Stormtroopers, but with green uniforms.
Q: How many VIPER Agent does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five—one to change the bulb, while the rest of his team stands around looking useless.
Q: What do VIPER agents and eggs have in common?
A: They both crack under pressure, and they're both worth about $1.19 a dozen.
Q: Why did VIPER stop using eight-second hand grenades?
A: Most VIPER agents couldn't count past five without using both hands.
Q: What's the difference between a VIPER agent and an automatic transmission?
A: It's hard to replace a transmission.
Q: Why did the Frenchman win the pistol duel?
A: The VIPER agent surrendered first.
Q: What's the difference between a VIPER Agent and a baseball?
A: If a baseball gets knocked over the fence, somebody's going to want to get it back.
Q: How do you get a VIPER Agent out of a tree?
A: Wave to him.
Q: How many VIPER Agent does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two—one to change the bulb, and one to stab him in the back when he's finished.
Q: Why don't VIPER Agents eat omelettes?
A: The average VIPER Agent can't beat an egg.
Q: What do a VIPER Agent and a high school color guard girl have in common?
A: They both carry a rifle for no apparent reason.
VIPER Agents are so lazy they only date pregnant women.
Q: What's the difference between a VIPER Agent and Bigfoot?
A: One's an ugly, hulking, uncultured, foul-smelling brute, and the other has big feet.
I tried to join VIPER once, but I passed my I.Q. test.
I tried to join VIPER once, but they found out my parents were married.
And finally,
Q: How many VIPER Agent does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one to change the bulb, after which he'll be shot by his Nest Leader because that's not the way he wanted it done. So none, really.
VIPER is more effective than the comic book organization it's based on (Marvel's HYDRA). There's no shortage of mad scientists, cunning but cowardly Nest Leaders, and supervillains on the payroll, but VIPER is best known for its agents. And that's the problem. VIPER agents have a (not entirely undeserved) reputation for underachievement. Think of Imperial Stormtroopers, but with green uniforms.
Q: How many VIPER Agent does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Five—one to change the bulb, while the rest of his team stands around looking useless.
Q: What do VIPER agents and eggs have in common?
A: They both crack under pressure, and they're both worth about $1.19 a dozen.
Q: Why did VIPER stop using eight-second hand grenades?
A: Most VIPER agents couldn't count past five without using both hands.
Q: What's the difference between a VIPER agent and an automatic transmission?
A: It's hard to replace a transmission.
Q: Why did the Frenchman win the pistol duel?
A: The VIPER agent surrendered first.
Q: What's the difference between a VIPER Agent and a baseball?
A: If a baseball gets knocked over the fence, somebody's going to want to get it back.
Q: How do you get a VIPER Agent out of a tree?
A: Wave to him.
Q: How many VIPER Agent does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Two—one to change the bulb, and one to stab him in the back when he's finished.
Q: Why don't VIPER Agents eat omelettes?
A: The average VIPER Agent can't beat an egg.
Q: What do a VIPER Agent and a high school color guard girl have in common?
A: They both carry a rifle for no apparent reason.
VIPER Agents are so lazy they only date pregnant women.
Q: What's the difference between a VIPER Agent and Bigfoot?
A: One's an ugly, hulking, uncultured, foul-smelling brute, and the other has big feet.
I tried to join VIPER once, but I passed my I.Q. test.
I tried to join VIPER once, but they found out my parents were married.
And finally,
Q: How many VIPER Agent does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Just one to change the bulb, after which he'll be shot by his Nest Leader because that's not the way he wanted it done. So none, really.
Saturday, December 02, 2006
Superhero Physics!
In my wanderings around the web this morning, I happened to come across an article by Torsten Ove:
'Physics for Superheroes': perfect for science-challenged dads
Ove starts his article with this rumination:
Here are the other tidbits mentioned by the article:
» The Flash would have to eat 150 million hamburgers to run as fast as he does. If he stopped running, he'd have to eat another 150 million just to get started again.
» But Flash really could run on water. At such high speeds the water would act like a solid because its molecules can't move out from under his feet fast enough for him to sink before he's gone.
» Superman could leap tall buildings in a single bound. But he couldn't lift up a building or a ship. Oh, he's strong enough, but buildings and ships aren't -- they would crumble under their own weight.
» So would Henry Pym, aka Giant-Man. Even if he could grow to huge heights, he couldn't do much, because his spine would snap under the strain of his weight.
» Angel, the X-Man with big wings on his back, couldn't fly unless he had freakishly huge chest muscles. The guy in the movies and comic books is way too skinny.
» And Spider-Man? Could he jump prodigious distances because of his "proportional strength of a spider?" No....But he could swing from buildings on a thread, and his webbing would be strong enough to stop a jet fighter landing on an aircraft carrier.
But lest we conclude that all comic book science is junk science, consider the following statement from the back of the book in question:
"Surprisingly enough, according to Kakalios, comic books get their physics right more often than you’d think." —The Boston Globe
I've definitely got to read that book.
'Physics for Superheroes': perfect for science-challenged dads
Ove starts his article with this rumination:
Being a sober, serious-minded journalist interested in the critical issues of the day, I've long wondered: How the heck does Cyclops of the X-Men fire those eye beams of his without snapping his neck like a matchstick?The article is a book review for The Physics of Superheroes by James Kakalios. Being both a comic book fan and an honest-to-goodness college-educated science geek, I had to take a look. And it looks good. One more for my holiday wish list.
Now I've got my answer -- he can't.
Here are the other tidbits mentioned by the article:
» The Flash would have to eat 150 million hamburgers to run as fast as he does. If he stopped running, he'd have to eat another 150 million just to get started again.
» But Flash really could run on water. At such high speeds the water would act like a solid because its molecules can't move out from under his feet fast enough for him to sink before he's gone.
» Superman could leap tall buildings in a single bound. But he couldn't lift up a building or a ship. Oh, he's strong enough, but buildings and ships aren't -- they would crumble under their own weight.
» So would Henry Pym, aka Giant-Man. Even if he could grow to huge heights, he couldn't do much, because his spine would snap under the strain of his weight.
» Angel, the X-Man with big wings on his back, couldn't fly unless he had freakishly huge chest muscles. The guy in the movies and comic books is way too skinny.
» And Spider-Man? Could he jump prodigious distances because of his "proportional strength of a spider?" No....But he could swing from buildings on a thread, and his webbing would be strong enough to stop a jet fighter landing on an aircraft carrier.
But lest we conclude that all comic book science is junk science, consider the following statement from the back of the book in question:
"Surprisingly enough, according to Kakalios, comic books get their physics right more often than you’d think." —The Boston Globe
I've definitely got to read that book.
Monday, October 02, 2006
Free Port
I was reading some high schooler's blog entry when I came across a comment to this effect:
Any guesses what TV sci-fi he preferred...?
Anyway, this misguided chap got me thinking. After breaking away from the Earth Alliance, space station Babylon 5 became a free port, open to any who wished to come aboard. And it made me wonder: what if Serenity got blown way the heck off course and ended up in the Epsilon sector? What would the crew of the wayward Firefly do aboard B5? Who would they hang out with? Nancy and I came up with the following:
Malcolm Reynolds and John Sheridan
Mal fought (and lost) a hopeless war against an oppressive totalitarian regime. Sheridan led an insurrection against his own government because it had become an oppressive totalitarian regime. I think they'd find something to talk about.
Zoe Washburne and Susan Ivanova
Both strong women and second in command of their various craft, I can imagine the conversations they'd have. "Okay, let me tell you about the stupid stunt my CO pulled when...."
Jayne Cobb and Michael Garibaldi
This meeting would have to take place during B5's fourth season, when Garibaldi resigned as Chief of Security and went independent. I can see the two of them busting heads in a dive somewhere down in Brown sector. While neither show has any shortage of bad@ssed goodness, these two are the baddest.
Inara Serra and Delenn
Companionship, as such, does not exist on B5, so there's no Guild for her to visit or fellow Companions with whom to socialize. So I think Inara would be drawn to someone who shares many of the same features she has: deeply spiritual, feminine, confident, and stronger than she looks. Minbari ambassador Delenn fits the bill.
Derrial Book and G'Kar
Shepherd Book is a traveling preacher, seeking enlightenment and trying to help out where he can. G'Kar is a reluctant religious icon among the Narn. Both have a history (implied, in Book's case) much darker than their present station would suggest. It would be fascinating to hear what these two enlightened men would talk about.
Simon Tam and Stephen Franklin
Okay, so I took the easy way out by sticking the two doctors together. But it makes sense. Simon is (or was on his way to becoming, anyway) one of the most brilliant young doctors in the Alliance. Stephen's expertise on exobiology is unparalleled. Talking shop for hours is almost a given. Once you got Simon into Medlab, you'd never get him out.
Kaylee Frye and Vir Cotto
These two are both a little naive, and both of these characters are often overshadowed by the stronger personalities that surround them. Nevertheless, they both have an inner strength that is plain to see, once it occurs to you to look for it. I think they'd make great friends.
Hoban 'Wash' Washburne and Marcus Cole
Perhaps a strange pairing at first, these two actually have a lot in common. They both love strong women. They both have a sense of humor that confuses or irritates those around them. They're both exceptionally good at what they do. And, unfortunately, they're both ultimately doomed.
River Tam and Kosh
What can I say? Just lock these two in a room and let them speak gibberish to each other for hours on end. It's really the only way.
There are two types of sci-fi fans that I hate: Browncoats and Babylon 5 fans. They think they're so superior. The fact is that while Firefly had the potential to be a great show, it self-destructed after 14 episodes. And Babylon 5 had a five-year story arc with 110 episodes—but every single episode sucked.
Any guesses what TV sci-fi he preferred...?
Anyway, this misguided chap got me thinking. After breaking away from the Earth Alliance, space station Babylon 5 became a free port, open to any who wished to come aboard. And it made me wonder: what if Serenity got blown way the heck off course and ended up in the Epsilon sector? What would the crew of the wayward Firefly do aboard B5? Who would they hang out with? Nancy and I came up with the following:
Malcolm Reynolds and John Sheridan
Mal fought (and lost) a hopeless war against an oppressive totalitarian regime. Sheridan led an insurrection against his own government because it had become an oppressive totalitarian regime. I think they'd find something to talk about.
Zoe Washburne and Susan Ivanova
Both strong women and second in command of their various craft, I can imagine the conversations they'd have. "Okay, let me tell you about the stupid stunt my CO pulled when...."
Jayne Cobb and Michael Garibaldi
This meeting would have to take place during B5's fourth season, when Garibaldi resigned as Chief of Security and went independent. I can see the two of them busting heads in a dive somewhere down in Brown sector. While neither show has any shortage of bad@ssed goodness, these two are the baddest.
Inara Serra and Delenn
Companionship, as such, does not exist on B5, so there's no Guild for her to visit or fellow Companions with whom to socialize. So I think Inara would be drawn to someone who shares many of the same features she has: deeply spiritual, feminine, confident, and stronger than she looks. Minbari ambassador Delenn fits the bill.
Derrial Book and G'Kar
Shepherd Book is a traveling preacher, seeking enlightenment and trying to help out where he can. G'Kar is a reluctant religious icon among the Narn. Both have a history (implied, in Book's case) much darker than their present station would suggest. It would be fascinating to hear what these two enlightened men would talk about.
Simon Tam and Stephen Franklin
Okay, so I took the easy way out by sticking the two doctors together. But it makes sense. Simon is (or was on his way to becoming, anyway) one of the most brilliant young doctors in the Alliance. Stephen's expertise on exobiology is unparalleled. Talking shop for hours is almost a given. Once you got Simon into Medlab, you'd never get him out.
Kaylee Frye and Vir Cotto
These two are both a little naive, and both of these characters are often overshadowed by the stronger personalities that surround them. Nevertheless, they both have an inner strength that is plain to see, once it occurs to you to look for it. I think they'd make great friends.
Hoban 'Wash' Washburne and Marcus Cole
Perhaps a strange pairing at first, these two actually have a lot in common. They both love strong women. They both have a sense of humor that confuses or irritates those around them. They're both exceptionally good at what they do. And, unfortunately, they're both ultimately doomed.
River Tam and Kosh
What can I say? Just lock these two in a room and let them speak gibberish to each other for hours on end. It's really the only way.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Trek @ 40
A nice nod to the Trek franchise by former contributer, Ron Moore.
'Star Trek' at 40: Still a beacon of hope
ALTADENA, California Four decades ago, when the starship Enterprise first settled into orbit around Planet M-113 on Sept. 8, 1966, I was 2 years old. I could not have known it at the time, but "Star Trek" would change my life.
To say that any television show has changed one's life is to invite both mockery and pity for a poor geek who must surely have been denied direct sunlight for the better part of his days. But in lieu of offering proof that I do not, in fact, still reside in my parents' basement, let me simply tell you how "Star Trek" informed the way I look at the world.
"Star Trek" is often reduced to kitsch: Kirk's paunch, Spock's pointy ears, green- skinned alien girls. But it was more than escapism and rubber- suited aliens. It was a morality play, with Captain James T. Kirk as a futuristic John F. Kennedy piloting a warp-driven PT-109 through the far reaches of the galaxy.
Kirk, for me, embodied an American idea: His mission was to explore the final frontier, not to conquer it. He was moral without moralizing. Week after week, he confronted the specters of intolerance and injustice, and week after week found a way to defeat them without ever becoming them. Kirk may have beat up his share of bad guys, but you could never imagine him torturing them.
A favorite quote: "We're human beings, with the blood of a million savage years on our hands. But we can stop it. We can admit that we're killers, but we won't kill today." Kirk understood humanity's flaws, yet never lost faith in our ability to rise above the muck.
"Star Trek" painted a noble, heroic vision of the future, and that vision became my lodestar.
As I grew into adolescence, the show provided a handy reference against which to judge the questions that my young mind began to ask: What is the obligation of a free society toward the less fortunate? Does an "advanced" culture have the right to spread its ideas among more "primitive" cultures?
And as I grew, and my political views took shape, I treasured "Star Trek" as a dream of what my country could one day become - a liberal and tolerant society, unafraid to live by its ideals in a dangerous universe, and secure in the knowledge that its greatness derived from the strength of its ideas rather than the power of its phasers.
In my 20s, through a combination of luck and determination, I fulfilled my childhood dream - I became a writer for "Star Trek."
For 10 years, I helped propel the latter-day incarnations of "Trek" into new territory while keeping alive the set of moral principles I'd taken to heart. As I plotted the adventures of the Enterprise-D and the travails of the space station Deep Space 9, I gradually became interested in pushing the boundaries of "Star Trek," and began to let Captains Picard and Sisko find the shades of gray in a universe Kirk sometimes saw only in black and white.
Science fiction on film and television has, over the past four decades, moved decisively away from the optimism of "Star Trek." "Blade Runner," "Alien" and "The Matrix" posit much darker, dystopian futures; even the "Star Wars" movies posit the rise of a galactic empire founded on "the dark side." Explanations abound for this shift, but my theory is that "Star Trek" set the gold standard for the idealistic vision of tomorrow and no one has successfully challenged it.
Nowadays, it may appear that I've turned a blind eye to my lodestar as my characters in the television series "Battlestar Galactica" behave in ways that would've been unthinkable in the "Star Trek" universe. But "Battlestar Galactica" remains very much informed by the lessons I learned from that slightly paunchy man in the gold pajama top.
My characters may not have all the answers but they contain kernels of both good and evil in their hearts and continue to struggle for salvation and redemption against the darker angels of their natures. Their defeats are many, their victories few, but somehow, some way, they never give up the dream of finding a better tomorrow.
And, thanks to a 40-year-old television show, neither do I.
'Star Trek' at 40: Still a beacon of hope
ALTADENA, California Four decades ago, when the starship Enterprise first settled into orbit around Planet M-113 on Sept. 8, 1966, I was 2 years old. I could not have known it at the time, but "Star Trek" would change my life.
To say that any television show has changed one's life is to invite both mockery and pity for a poor geek who must surely have been denied direct sunlight for the better part of his days. But in lieu of offering proof that I do not, in fact, still reside in my parents' basement, let me simply tell you how "Star Trek" informed the way I look at the world.
"Star Trek" is often reduced to kitsch: Kirk's paunch, Spock's pointy ears, green- skinned alien girls. But it was more than escapism and rubber- suited aliens. It was a morality play, with Captain James T. Kirk as a futuristic John F. Kennedy piloting a warp-driven PT-109 through the far reaches of the galaxy.
Kirk, for me, embodied an American idea: His mission was to explore the final frontier, not to conquer it. He was moral without moralizing. Week after week, he confronted the specters of intolerance and injustice, and week after week found a way to defeat them without ever becoming them. Kirk may have beat up his share of bad guys, but you could never imagine him torturing them.
A favorite quote: "We're human beings, with the blood of a million savage years on our hands. But we can stop it. We can admit that we're killers, but we won't kill today." Kirk understood humanity's flaws, yet never lost faith in our ability to rise above the muck.
"Star Trek" painted a noble, heroic vision of the future, and that vision became my lodestar.
As I grew into adolescence, the show provided a handy reference against which to judge the questions that my young mind began to ask: What is the obligation of a free society toward the less fortunate? Does an "advanced" culture have the right to spread its ideas among more "primitive" cultures?
And as I grew, and my political views took shape, I treasured "Star Trek" as a dream of what my country could one day become - a liberal and tolerant society, unafraid to live by its ideals in a dangerous universe, and secure in the knowledge that its greatness derived from the strength of its ideas rather than the power of its phasers.
In my 20s, through a combination of luck and determination, I fulfilled my childhood dream - I became a writer for "Star Trek."
For 10 years, I helped propel the latter-day incarnations of "Trek" into new territory while keeping alive the set of moral principles I'd taken to heart. As I plotted the adventures of the Enterprise-D and the travails of the space station Deep Space 9, I gradually became interested in pushing the boundaries of "Star Trek," and began to let Captains Picard and Sisko find the shades of gray in a universe Kirk sometimes saw only in black and white.
Science fiction on film and television has, over the past four decades, moved decisively away from the optimism of "Star Trek." "Blade Runner," "Alien" and "The Matrix" posit much darker, dystopian futures; even the "Star Wars" movies posit the rise of a galactic empire founded on "the dark side." Explanations abound for this shift, but my theory is that "Star Trek" set the gold standard for the idealistic vision of tomorrow and no one has successfully challenged it.
Nowadays, it may appear that I've turned a blind eye to my lodestar as my characters in the television series "Battlestar Galactica" behave in ways that would've been unthinkable in the "Star Trek" universe. But "Battlestar Galactica" remains very much informed by the lessons I learned from that slightly paunchy man in the gold pajama top.
My characters may not have all the answers but they contain kernels of both good and evil in their hearts and continue to struggle for salvation and redemption against the darker angels of their natures. Their defeats are many, their victories few, but somehow, some way, they never give up the dream of finding a better tomorrow.
And, thanks to a 40-year-old television show, neither do I.
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